pileofknives:

Attention all customers: our store will be closing in five minutes. If you are present in the store after closing you will be hunted for sport.

transgambit:

me at disneyland: *taps mickeys shoulder* yo ricky rat where the fast passes for mickeys dick smasher

mickey: *muffled sobbing as he shows me a hidden door under the walt statue*

common practices that need to stop

todaysbird:

deadmutt:

-outdoor cats

-exotic pet ownership ((servals, foxes, coyotes, monkeys, etc))

-vegan diets for carnivorous pets 

-obese animals being seen as cute

-”cute” predator/prey interactions ((cats with rodents, snakes with small animals, etc))

-getting pets high 

-intentionally putting animals into uncomfortable situations for the sake of it being funny or cute

Feel free to add more.

- clipping birds’ wings

- feeding birds all-seed diets

- getting pets as surprise gifts

back-that-sass-up:

thedoctorsawkwardhufflepuff:

What really bothers me is that staff thinks it needs to make this site “safe for children” like have you seen this place? Get rid of the pedophiles and child porn by all means please, make it safe for teens sure, but no 9 year old should be using tumblr so I think you’re in the clear there. I don’t get it like what did staff just wake up one morning, and look at this site like

“…Hmm…”

GREAT USE OF JOHN MULANEY REFERENCE

GOOD JOB OP

a-hurricane-thundercloud:

To those of you that fear recovery because you’ve become so comfortable with your suffering:

You don’t notice it leave. It goes away slowly and you don’t even notice it’s gone until youre happy and content.

You won’t miss it. It won’t hurt. You won’t be empty. I promise it will be so much better than your head tells you.

mikeyjamesk:

me: guys… don’t worry, i’ll handle this

me: *ruins everything*

theanti90smovement:

im  dropping out of school to become a full time piece of shit

(Source: grovericon)

marsixm:

heres the idea: instead of vogue magazine it’s vague magazine. all the editorials are blurry. models shot from 60 feet away. ads just say “buy it”. models hide behind trees and shrubs. you can’t tell what anyone’s wearing.

angeldelatierra:

*holds a baby carrot like a cigarette* I’m just….. over it, you know?