who the fuck genuinely enjoys the taste of sour candy
who the fuck says “im going to eat this sugary sweet coated in pain salt and im gonna fucking like it”
“nasa gone rogue” sounds like they’re stealing rockets and going to the moon illegally or something
but nope, “rogue” these days is a word that means “posting real climate change facts that your president doesn’t want you to know”
like if you support nasa posting real climate change facts that the orange dictator doesn’t want you to know. reblog if you support nasa stealing rockets and going to the moon illegally.
one of the most inspiring things i’ve ever seen was my co-worker quitting on the spot over an argument and proceeding to purposely make eye contact with my manager as she walked out of the fire exit, making the entire stores alarm go off. it’s was on a level of spite i can only dream of achieving.
I’m not like emo nihilist I’m more like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy nihilist like “life is meaningless and the universe does not care about you and it’s full of casual and callous destruction might as well have a party while I still can then”
Like the two forms of nihilism are “nothing matters so why?” and “nothing matters so why not?” and the latter is so much fun
me: Princess Zelda’s a pretty cool character and is way more than just a damsel in distress.
some nerd: source????
me:
me: ??????
me:
Didn’t do shit in Link’s awakening though
This post has over 50 thousand notes and this is the most baffling response to it I have ever seen.
Yes, Zelda didn’t do anything in a game that she was not in. You fucking got me. In other news, Mario is a bad character because he didn’t do shit in Metroid Prime.
i HATE those yellow Minions. i have always HATED them. i hate minion themed things. i hate how they are EVERYWHERE and i hate whichever shitpost looked at those evil potato croquette lookin motherfuckers and decided they needed a full length film. i HATE them.
Losing/gaining weight can be so difficult when you have a chronic illness that seriously limits what you can physically do and what you can eat so please don’t judge someone who needs to lose or put on weight for “not trying hard enough” or “not making lifestyle changes” because for some of us changing our diet and exercising more isn’t an option. disabled people don’t have the privilege to make the lifestyle changes that healthy people can make.
the one thing i didn’t get about scooby doo is how there was an entire line of pet treats that were exclusively marketed to one dog and his owner who ate dog treats too for some reason
Shrek makes infinitely more sense if you ascribe to the theory that everyone is a PC in an RPG, and Donkey’s player managed to avoid a boss battle by rolling a nat 20 to seduce the fucking dragon
“I want to be a half-ogre.”
“What? You can’t. They’ve seen your picture, and you’re a human.”
“The ogre half is at night.”
“Ok, now it’s time for the boss fight against Farquaad.”
“I have my dragon girlfriend eat Farquaad.”
“…you what?”
“I have my dragon girlfriend-”
“No, no, I heard you the first time. Look, I’m gonna roll a d20 and if it’s a 20 then the dragon will eat Farquaad.” -dice sounds-
*pinches the bridge of his nose* “Ok, so the boss is fucking dead now.”
By Shrek 2, everything has just gone to shit.
“Okay, so I go in as sexy human Shrek, riding on the shoulder of the giant gingerbread man, and pull down the drawbridge of the castle so I can slip in and crash the fairy god mother’s performance of I Need A Hero. Do I need to roll Endurance to survive boiling milk?”
*DM covers their face with both hands, sobbing* “What the fuck have you assholes done to my campaign!?”
Donkey is the bard who seemingly forgot that their spells require a free hand to cast.
Puss In Boots is the rogue who put all of his points into charisma, probably bribed the DM into letting him be bipedal. Donkey’s player won’t let it go.
if you want to ask a bisexual or asexual person about their sexual history to verify that they’re queer, but you don’t want them to take it the wrong way, try this useful communication technique:
The reason most millennials don’t make a scene when an establishment doesn’t treat them right is because we function more on positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement. For Boomers, they can make a scene because they know negative reinforcement gets them what they want; they want to PUNISH these establishments or workers, but Millennial purchasing patterns are very different.
Growing up in the computer age, we’ve become masterful at filtering junk information, and that includes advertising. It doesn’t matter how much a politician or restaurant or whatever memes, we’ll find them funny, but we’re still not going to shop there or give them our money of we dislike them. The way brands become successful with Millennials is actually just word of mouth.
So when an establishment treats us poorly, we don’t make a scene. We simply never go back and don’t tell our friends about it. Conversely, places that treat us well we immediately go tell others about.
The simplest ways to get Millennials to support your business is to give them good economic value for what you sell (Boomers can think we’re irresponsible, but we’re actually quite thrifty), you have to treat us with dignity, but ALSO, you have to treat your WORKERS with dignity. Unlike Boomers who get off on laughing at someone working at McDonald’s, we’ve all had to work shitty, underpaying jobs and we don’t like when we go to an establishment and see workers mistreated and poorly paid, because WE’VE BEEN THERE, and we don’t want to contribute to that gross abuse of the working class.
These rich CEOs can complain that Millennials have “no brand loyalty” or that we’re “killing XYZ industry,” but the truth is that selling to us consistently requires ethical business practices that most of these companies are unwilling to partake in.
Wow I have a degree in economics and studied this stuff for years and years and read up on it all the time and this still impressed me. This was such an enjoyable read and all TRUE. Fuck
Quick lets all ship Zarya x Doomfist and name it “Fistya” before anyone else gets to weigh in
He respects the way she rose to the challenge in a time of conflict to aid her people, she respects the way he keeps challenging her to arm-wrestling matches even though she beats him every time.
