I find it funny that you chose that number since you seem like a total straight-edge lol ((that’s not a bad thing b/c I’m also very much straight-edge)).

Anyways, I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve had it rough and you didn’t have a lot of supportive people in your life, but there’s no time like the present, and I think that it’s time to look towards the future. Besides, even though it’s hard to let go of the past, you don’t have to do it alone! That’s the cool thing about having friends, is that you don’t have to do shit alone anymore. You got us, and we’re not going anywhere anytime soon. There will be bad days, but we’re here for you. We’re on your side, and we want you to be happy.

You’re more talented than you give yourself credit for, and there’s no shame in recognizing your abilities. Trust me on that, and trust me when I say that it does get better as time goes on. Learning to love yourself and what you do possible; it’s an uphill battle that never really ends, but it’s possible. And the coolest part? You’re worth it. You’re worth that uphill battle. You’re worth a whole damn war, and I hope you’ll learn to embrace that as time goes on. 

Keep on keepin’ on. <3