Lush Cashier: “That will be $245.67 please.”

Me: “Doh’kay.”

Sales Associate: “These winter boots will be $120 please.”

Me: “I don’t need winter boots winter is just an illusion and for that matter COLD is just an illusion if you close your eyes and picture some place warm you will actually feel legitimately warm just picture an island or an oven I can just tape cotton balls and human hair to my feet and wrap them with plastic to keep them dry but I will not buy these ridiculous unnecessary boots you’re obscene that’s too expensive you’re all extortionists THIS IS NOT THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND THE HOME OF THE FREE.”