MoeMon FireRed: Part 1 “A False Start”

It’s time to boot this up and start my journey. I’m a seasoned Pokemon player, I got this. Never done a Nuzlocke, but a Nuzlocke’s never done me so we’re evenly matched.

That…. that’s not a Pokemon. I won’t make any tasteless jokes, but that is not a Pokemon. She is a hella adorable Dragonite cosplayer though. Also, why the fuck does Oak look so smug? He thinks he’s hot shit because he’s a professor- where did he graduate from? I’ve never seen a university in any Pokemon games. I’ve seen Trainer’s school but even toddlers can graduate from that shit. Are you even a professor, Oak?

True to my nature, I take on a new name for this journey. I don’t know why my mother would name me Grump, but at least I got a cool hat!

What a poser. He does not pull off those purple pants. And is that a fanny pack? Is he really giving me that condescending look while wearing a damn fanny pack? 

Some people believe everything they see on TV…

Now that I have my mother’s blessing I can ditch this town- is this even a town? There’s like four houses- wait I think there’s three houses and a lab. Where’s the town hall? The police station? Oh well, this is Pokemon, not Skyrim. I can’t expect them to make a super detailed world with all them GBA graphics.

When did you get there- great he wants to take me to his lab. That’s cool, I guess. I’m down to clown. 

I am ten years old- I have not even graduated elementary school and you are giving me a creature that could literally decimate me if it so chose to? Is this world just a system of anarchy?

Option number one- looks promising. I don’t normally use bug types, but okay.

Oh hell no. HELL to the NO.

Oh shit damn that’s one badass looking elephant mammoth thing! Though it’s kind weird that the mammoth face is on the back of the person face? If I didn’t have a naming theme, I’d name is Quirrel.

Torn between Heracross and Donphan, the lovely evil-alduin helped me decide. The naming theme is countries, so I may as well start with my homeland.

This is the last you’ll see of poor Amercia the Heracross. Donphan had Horn Attack- all America had was a Tackle. They didn’t stand a ghost of a chance. RIP America. 

Looks like I’ll have to reset and try again!