stiltje:

tips if you are friends with a person who suffers from borderline personality disorder: 

* if you love them, tell them often (bpds lack emotional permanence which means we know you love us, but we can’t remember what it felt like to be loved thus leaving us in a very needy and uncomfortable position)

 * COMMUNICATION AND HONESTY - I can’t stress this enough. if you’re angry with them, tell them. if something they did made you sad or upset, tell them. bpds tend to overthink and find every possible sign that you’re upset with them, which is why you should be honest right away. don’t try to hide your feelings, they will know instantly.

* ease their fear of abandonment by doing things like let them borrow something from you (it means you’ll definitely see each other again) or (when you part) use reassuring phrases like “see you soon” or keep talking to them even after parting with them.

* talk to your loved one and ask them to try to explain to you how they work. a lot of people with bpd come from an abusive environment can therefor be more sensitive and broken than they like to admit. listen to them and validate their experiences.

* educate yourself. this is the most important thing because bpd it is a very hard disorder to have in an uneducated environment. realise that not all bpd people are the same. some of us struggle with relationships more than others, some of us can’t handle impulsivity and some of us find it physically impossible to regulate emotions and some of us are a mix of all of this or other symptoms - we are all different and work differently.

* don’t read idiotic things that makes us out to be abusive and monstrous. bpd people are smart and creative and we love stronger than anyone. our diagnosis doesn’t automatically make us into every bpd stereotype that you can find online on sites written by ableist assholes.