This is amazing!

This is to every single person in my life at this point… Because some people think I am faking or truly think it is an act. 

Bless.

goosebumps

Truly, I never thought I would ever see a video that explored this particular problem, and I am so fucking thankful that I was proved wrong.

Because you see commercials quite often for depression; how it effects those around you, how it effects you physically, how it darkens everything around you until it’s just mute. But I have never seen this. And this is - for me - what caused some of the biggest scars in my life.

In grade seven through to this day (on my victory lap of high school), I missed school weeks at a time. The truth of it is, I probably missed more days than I was there for. Eventually they had to put me on a homeschool program (which I’m now off) because in grade ten they finally clued in that I just couldn’t do it. And that, really, is where things finally started to look up, if only a little. But before that? I spent days at a time curled up in bed, feeling a horrid numbness swept over my entire body. Instead of eating, I cried or stared at the ceiling for hours on end. My anxiety attacks got worse and I had to come to terms with the fact that I truly thought I was going to die, because that is the closest to death that I have ever felt. And when I did go into school? I got singled out, picked on, teased for being absent. By other students, teachers, and even the principal. I got accused of being a drop out drug addict (in grade 8!) by my teacher because I couldn’t come to class. I was the butt of all the jokes and the rumors and it only made it so, so much worse.

So please, please don’t take depression or anxiety lightly. I wish I had had the balls to stand up for myself like the young man in this commercial. Because it’s not a joke and it fucking hurts.
Think before you speak, and don’t make crap presumptions about people when, for all you know, they could be wading through the worst shit of their lives.

A lot of people use someone else’s mental health issues against them, laugh because ‘hey! we’re not the ones with it.’ I can’t talk in front of people, like I’m better at it, but I used to get so afraid when people even glanced at me, I’d hyperventilate. I had bad pronlems . I couldn’t answer questions right because I’d panic, my classmates laughed because they thought I was stupid, teachers joined in. I couldn’t handle failing, I prayed I’d do well, if I answered something wrong you could hear my breathing pick up until it sounded painful and i ‘d hit my head or stabbed myself with a pen repeatedly. I also saw stuff and heard stuff. Schizophrenia or something. Nobody believed me though. Said that I was lying. Sure I was lying, that’s exactly why I cried because the ‘monsters’ only talked to me, because the voices in my head wouldn’t go silent. And when they did it was just that split second where you think ‘oh god. I’m alone.’ Do you know how hard it was, hearing voices 24/7 ‘kill yourself, go on do it. Nobody will miss you.’ I was 8. I’m 15 now and the voices still go on. I’d stay home, when I was at school I’d isolate myself. People called me the freak, the mental patient. I swore I thought I was gonna die the days when I couldn’t breathe and spasmed so hard I almost broke my rib. Worst thing was, my best friends had the same issues. So we were outcasts, freaks, and nobody stood up for us. Anti depression pills didn’t work and that on top of shit at home, I almost lost them all. And they almost lost me. Don’t make shit about people when you have no idea what its like to be imprisoned and scared of your own mind everyday.