Dear malicious one, have you ever played the scary maze game? Or did you show it to somebody and just laughed at them for being petrified? Also, if you were a ruler, what would be your regulation?

I acknowledge that you’re trying to appease me, but your attempt is just so pitiful. Before I even attend to the subject at hand, it’s Malicious One, not malicious one. You’re addressing your superior, you incompetent halfwit. Your disgraceful display of idiocy aside, I have not played such a game (though I did look it up before proceeding to answer your questions).

Are you assuming that I spend my reign looking for cheap scares such as that? I have much better things to focus on, and I assure you I aim to frighten others in a way much more effective than some trivial jump scare. I’d much rather give them a real reason to be afraid.

—Mal