One of the things I really loved about writing Jack’s character was that his anxiety and identity as a trans*man were an integral part of who he is, but they didn’t define him as a character, if that makes sense. I feel like the way myself and TotalDramaCrazy wrote him were even more successful than I could have hoped.

Yes, Jack is a trans*man and it influenced how he reacted to certain things throughout the series. In the Simon Says challenge he dropped out when the challenge involved getting nude, as that would out him, something he wasn’t mentally prepared to do at that point. His identity also drove much of his interaction with Monica up until and even after he came out to her. Although it wasn’t often blatantly mentioned, it was always there in the background, driving his actions and words. Hell, it wasn’t even mentioned in the chapters, and hardly mentioned in RP’s. It was something so prominent to who he was yet it never defined him as a character, which I think was beyond my expectations for Jack as a character.

The same can be said for his Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD. In the beginning it was mentioned and referenced quite a bit to estbalish that he wasn’t just a nervous character; he is a man with a mental disorder that is medicated and struggles with GAD and Panic Disorder. Though yet again, it did not take the spotlight and overshadow his personality as a human being. Not only that, but his anxiety was a key factor used in tracking his progress as a character. We’re nearing the end of the series and Jack is still very much struggling with his mental disorders. They aren’t going away anytime soon; no power of love or character growth will change that he has mental disorders. However, he has made progress in how he copes and interacts with the world. In one of the first RP’s in the season, Jack had a panic attack due to the shock of this new environment being too much for his anxiety. However, as he grew as a character, he adapted to the environment. Yes, he still was anxious about many things, as could be seen through his RP’s, but his only other panic attack was after a particularly stressful moment. And then, we see how influential his anxieties and whatnot are when he stops taking his medications, and becomes the paranoid, violent mess that was Blackjack after Middy returned to the competition.

That brings me to Blackjack. One thing that worried me about writing Blackjack was that I didn’t want him to be an alternate personality. Jack does not have DID. That’s not a struggle of his. Though Blackjack manifested as an extension of his anxiety, and here’s why. Jack’s anxiety controls his life, and he was taught that he would be disliked and frowned upon if he expressed any sort of ill will or anger upon others, regardless of if it was warranted or not. His anxiety and fear of being hated caused him to stifle his anger, and he was so fearful of showing anger that his psyche created an alter ego so he wouldn’t have to be the one being violent or angry.

…that felt good to finally give a definitive explanation of Blackjack.

Anyways, all of that aside, all of those things that would normally absorb his character and make that all there is to him (*cough* Mike and TDA Trent) instead don’t take the spotlight, but showcase his actual personality through driving his every decision.

Instead of seeing a trans* character with anxiety, we see someone who is introverted and a little scared of people, but he likes to make friends. He’s someone that will make promises even if he knows he may not be able to keep them because he’s afraid of letting him down. He’s an awkward guy, a sympathetic guy, a great listener, a bit of a clutz, and all these other things.

It’s been an absolute pleasure to see him come to life in a way that he seems like a real guy, not some two-dimensional OC submitted for a random fanfic thing.

I can’t thank TotalDramaCrazy enough for helping me in Jack’s character arc by writing him in the chapters true to his character. I also appreciate every single person who RP’d with him, as not only did I get to witness the other incredible characters on Total Drama Tumblr, but it gave the opportunity to show the many facets of Jack; like a real person, he reacts differently to things depending on who he’s with or how comfortable he is around someone. This is a bit off-topic, but one of the things I’m excited for with Adelia is to show how artificial her “nice” side is, in that she reacts the same around everyone and treats everyone the exact same; super sugar sweet. From a reader’s perspective, I’d hope that subtle lack of situational variety would be a stark contrast from Jack and stand out as an inauthentic manner of personality.

But that’s off-topic.

I’m kind of drabbling on right now, it’s 1 am, and I hope I got my point across.

I love you all, and it’s time to wrap up season 1!