Things I Wish Upon People I Don't Like
That they step on a Lego.
That they oversleep before a mildly important event.
That they spill their coffee just enough that it stains the edge of their shirt that they really love.
That the next time they get a runny nose, there is no Kleenex.
That a dog poops on their lawn.
That they accidentally tear a page of the book they’re reading.
That when they want to cook something, they’re missing one ingredient that’s just important enough that they have to go to the store to get it in order to make the thing they wanted.