straight men: ugh women have such high standards they always reject me
straight men: my girlfriend has to shave every day, has to wear make up (but not TOO much), has to be funny (but not funnier than me), has to like my friends (but pays attention to me more), doesn't argue all the time (but isnt a pushover), has sex whenever i want it (but isn't a slut), is smart (but not as smart as me), is unique (but acts like i demand all women act), validates me at all times, and is more concerned with my physical, emotional, and mental well-being than her own.