why would you want to talk to, let alone have sex with, the kind of ass who refuses to use a condom when asked? if any person uses one of these excuses, just never talk to them again. then there’s no negotiation necessary.

it’s not always that easy. and they’re not always men who come off as asses. sometimes they seem like really nice guys, and they even say these things sweetly. and more men than you’d think pull this kind of thing.

I know for myself it has been really really hard to insist on condoms, and even when I know I shouldn’t go back to someone who has pressured me to not use condoms or attempted not to use them with me, I do. because I like other stuff about them or because society makes me feel guilty for asking for anything that supposedly limits men’s (because it is usually men) pleasure.

I just thinking asking why you’d want to have sex with someone isn’t really asking a useful question. instead let’s ask why people, but especially women (like me) feel like this is normal behavior, something we just have to accept, and why it’s so hard to walk away.