Thanksgiving can be incredibly difficult and triggering for people with eating disorders, so if you have an ED or are in recovery from one, I just want you to know that you’re valid and you’re gonna get through this. I hope y’all are able to enjoy the holiday and take care of yourselves. <3
| Nov 23, 2017 — 5 notes — Tags |
| |
today I’m going to be [spins wheel] sad about [spins wheel] when i was left out in pe that time and I’ll cope with it by [spins wheel] drinking a bottle of vodka and [spins wheel] starving myself for a week
To anyone with an eating disorder on Thanksgiving: I know it’s scary. Stay safe. You deserve to enjoy your dinner. Treat yourself kindly after you eat. You can do this, and I love you.
(Source: portlandy)
inlovewithafictionalcharacter:
This is one of the most inspirational stories ever.
Oh. My. God.
Is this a true story??
It is indeed. (x) And she’s written a fantastic piece about body image. (x)
holy shit I didnt know that
This is too amazing to NOT reblog, so inspiring.
That is amazing.
Awwwwe
Be it self-harm, an eating disorder, alcohol, or any other form of relapse- it happens. Recovery is not this straight line up towards progress. It’s a twisty-turvy trail full of roundabouts, hills, valleys… relapses happen, and it doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made. All the things you accomplished are still just as incredible and wonderful, and you’re still on your way to recovery. Forgive yourself, and tomorrow you can look forward and try again.
Be it self-harm, an eating disorder, alcohol, or any other form of relapse- it happens. Recovery is not this straight line up towards progress. It’s a twisty-turvy trail full of roundabouts, hills, valleys… relapses happen, and it doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made. All the things you accomplished are still just as incredible and wonderful, and you’re still on your way to recovery. Forgive yourself, and tomorrow you can look forward and try again.
I wish at school they would talk about depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self harm. Not just bullying. Because sometime it’s not people that make us feel like shit, it’s ourselves.
YES SOMEONE FUCKING SAID IT, YES.
(Source: sundays-suicide)
Thank you so much! And three years? That’s incredible! I admire your strength- I take it just one day at a time and I’m hoping I’ll get to more and more milestones in my recovery. I try not to sweat the relapses; they happen but they don’t invalidate my progress. Recovery is so hard, especially when you’re fighting off multiple things. It’s been exactly a month since I last self-harmed, and a little over a month since I last drank. I’m bummed I relapsed on some things, but that just means it’s time to set a new personal best, right? The hardest part was learning not to give up every time I had a relapse. I figured once I fell off the wagon that was it and I should just give up. It took some work, but now I know that recovery isn’t a straight path. It’s got bumps and twists and roundabouts; though the road still leads me to my destination.
| Sep 1, 2015 — 0 notes — Tags |
| |
Fun Fact: Although I’ve had a handful of relapses, September does mark it being one year since I made the decision to choose recovery over my eating disorder. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
If you struggle with an eating disorder, please never hesitate to talk to me. I want to help you any way I can. I let mine go on for far too long, and now I have lifelong consequences. Part of my back teeth have eroded and yellowed, and I have GERD from all the damage to my esophagus due to bulimia. It takes a toll on you in ways that may last the rest of your life. So please, if you struggle with an ED, you can come to me. You can talk to me.
| Sep 1, 2015 — 11 notes — Tags |
| |
cudl:
friendly reminder to not be rude to picky eaters or make fun of them because some picky eaters are very insecure about being picky eaters and do not actually like being picky eaters!! and chances are theyre picky eaters for a reason!! which is important to them!! so please do not call them out or be rude about it!!
Who the heck cares
people with eating disorders and allergies and health problems and anxiety and autism care
Do not draw attention to a person’s eating habit. If they eat a certain way or don’t eat certain foods, there’s probably a reason. And if there isn’t? It’s still not your business. There are medical, religious, and even just personal preference reasons why someone can’t/won’t eat a certain way. Respect that. It doesn’t take much effort to be supportive.
2013: I was still so ill with an eating disorder that I didn’t even realize was what disordered, I was self harming, had panic attacks daily and had to drop out of highschool because I was so ill I couldn’t go into class.
2014: At the start of the year I was still struggling with my eating disorder, having panic attacks regularly and was pretty miserable. By the end of the year I’d gotten into a college course, had chosen to recover from my disorder but never thought I’d be able to move out or get into University.
2015: I’m a year clean from my eating disorder. I can’t remember the last time I had a panic attack. I have great friends. I got offers from four universities and in four weeks I am moving out to go to a university I love and I am so so excited about my life.
I’ve seen so many suicidal people on my dash lately and as someone has tried to commit twice I can understand how awful you have to feel to get there. But if either of those attempts had been successful I never would have been around to see my life now. It get’s better, you just have to be there to see it
PFFFT I feel that.
//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//
FU KC
Duuude!!! Where the hell have you been this is incredible!!!
And lmao I know that feel! Nowadays when I go to Olive Garden with my best friend I don’t order an entree– either just salad or a dessert, and then Matt gives me few bites of their dish and it works well. C:
TBPH I love the sleeve- the only drawback is that it’s hard to get enough nutrients! I am taking vitamins now but it’s very difficult to eat enough protein. XD And I’m so sick of protein shakes after drinking them pre-op and post-op!!! Luckily the pinto beans at work are easy to eat and high in protein. C: I freakin’ love pinto beans with cheese and a bit of rice like damn that’s what I’m about.
Oh my gosh I can only imagine what it was like behind the scenes! They always warp the truth on reality shows- they twist it and edit it to show only what they want the audience to see.
I remember my mom making me watch a few episodes of Too Fat for Fifteen… gosh, I seriously don’t know how you survived ten months there!!! I would have lost it.
Oh god the protein shakes post-op.. The clear protein drinks were the actual worst??? Iso-Pur I think they were called? They left this like, wet-paper type gunk in my mouth every time I drank it, and I could only have like a shot glass at a time so I can’t imagine what it’d be like drinking the entire damn thing.. ew..
I actually have never had pinto beans, somehow. I’ll have to give that a shot! I’m really picky about my proteins so I’m glad you mentioned that :D
My parents have taken to instead of making full-sized burgers on the grill they’ll make little slider burgers instead, and I can eat them on those little sweet Hawaiian Rolls or with no bun at all depending on how my stomach feels that day. They always are juuust right and since you split them into smaller portions, I can usually eat off a single pound of ground beef for a couple days or more if my parents would let me.
I always have a hard time portioning my “classes” though - like, if I were to eat 7 bites of something, it should be like 3 bites protein, 2 bite carbs, 2 bite fruit/veg or whatever.. I still haven’t mastered that, so I often just do what I enjoy and it works out. I’m not losing any more weight from my initial heavy drop after the operation, but I’m at the same weight I was when I plateaued at Wellspring so I guess that means this is where my body wants to stay, even if that’s not what a BMI calculator says I should be. (And honestly, screw BMI calculators too.)
Yeah, pinto beans are great! And although I try not to mind those details anymore, I do have to note they’re fat free. So I put a lot of cheese on it and it’s so good!!!
Oh gosh, I only drank the premier protein shakes? And I only liked the chocolate one so all I drank was chocolate protein shakes for like a month it sucked! I also drank a lot of chicked broth the first week or two after the operation- that I didn’t get sick of b/c I love savory and salty food. XD
Oooh, that’s smart! I’ll mention the sliders thing to my dad. ouo It’s hard for him to cook now b/c my portions are so small. Speaking of protein, I’ve never heard of the dividing the nutrients bite by bite! I just sort of eat and my body lets me know if it needs more protein, lmao.
How long ago did you get the surgery? I’m about 8 months post-op and I’m still losing, though a lot more slowly now. I don’t know when it’ll stop, tbh. O.o And yeah, the BMI scale is a really inaccurate way to measure health. I try to pay little mind to it, honestly.
I’m right around the lowest weight I’ve been since after camp #1. I kinda hope I plateau soon because I don’t want my weight to dip too low???
PFFFT I feel that.
//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//
FU KC
Duuude!!! Where the hell have you been this is incredible!!!
And lmao I know that feel! Nowadays when I go to Olive Garden with my best friend I don’t order an entree– either just salad or a dessert, and then Matt gives me few bites of their dish and it works well. C:
TBPH I love the sleeve- the only drawback is that it’s hard to get enough nutrients! I am taking vitamins now but it’s very difficult to eat enough protein. XD And I’m so sick of protein shakes after drinking them pre-op and post-op!!! Luckily the pinto beans at work are easy to eat and high in protein. C: I freakin’ love pinto beans with cheese and a bit of rice like damn that’s what I’m about.
Oh my gosh I can only imagine what it was like behind the scenes! They always warp the truth on reality shows- they twist it and edit it to show only what they want the audience to see.
I remember my mom making me watch a few episodes of Too Fat for Fifteen… gosh, I seriously don’t know how you survived ten months there!!! I would have lost it.
PFFFT I feel that.
//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//
FU KC
Gosh those camps/schools are hell- they’re so unhealthy it’s just sickening. And a lot of times these kids are so young and impressionable- I was 11 when my mom sent me two states away for two months. We got to use computers once a week, and if we got more steps in we could earn extra computer time. We couldn’t have any electronics except iPod that couldn’t get internet. I just… looking back it took me a few years to realize how horrible it all was, and how they warped our way of thinking.
That sounds so similar to mine wow.. Was it a Wellspring camp perchance?? Because that’s eerily like the Wellspring school I went to for 10 months. We had one phonecall home a week that only lasted 10 minutes (we were timed), couldn’t use mp3 players if it had a screen, no phones or laptops or anything because it was all confiscated.. But we also couldn’t get within 5 feet of the opposite sex, had to journal everything we ate and would be punished with literal solitary confinement if we broke the rules once too many times.
It was Wellspring!!! All three times!!! Oh my gosh I can’t believe you went there too!!! Man, I almost forgot they had boarding schools. Thank God I only went for two months, then one month, then two months. Sure, I lost weight, but in the unhealthiest way.
And they taught such awful things- 20g of fat or less a day?! That’s so bad for you- plus, fat free foods compensate by loading them with sugar, so it’s better not to eat fat free foods…. I remember working out for over 8 hours a day- and during free time I went to the 5k club because I was so obsessed with losing weight, I ran and ran while others did crafts or things I wish I’d done.
It’s so validating to talk to someone else who went through that- though I’m sad you had to experience it too. :c
OH MY GOD ANOTHER WELLSPRINGER I NEVER IMAGINED ????///
Yeah I went for 10 months and almost went back for my senior year and it was utterly unbearable??? I met my best friend there but only because like.. that terrible shit will bring people together you know?
And it was so unrealistic. YEAH 20G OF FAT A DAY YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A SINGLE MEAL IN TYPICAL AMERICA HAS? AT LEAST THAT. You can’t just shop around for the shit you need to make that happen, even if it WAS truly the “best” diet. no, nonononono. Impossible. And we had 3 PE sessions a day on top of normal schooling so ???? yeah literally impossible in real life
and yeah sugar turns into fat so it literally did nothing for us
and if I ever even HEAR the words “peanut wonder” again I might just vomit relentlessly that stuff was so nasty ughjkdsjklkd
but yes wellspring 1000% promoted eating disorder behavior and unrealistic views of the world and it has permanently damaged so many of the people I went there with. zero out of fucking ten do not recommend
BUT what’s funny is that literally a year after I went, my best friend who was forced to go back reported THEY SHUT DOWN OUR SCHOOL like it’s literally not there anymore. Maybe word’s getting out about how terrible it is.
Holy shit- hopefully people are seeing how toxic those camps and schools are. They literally endorsing eating as little as possible and exercising as much as possible. There were a couple days where I ate 100 calorie and no fat. 100. Fucking. Calories. Not to mention how they made us write down everything we ate along with the calories and fat content??? They trained us to count every calorie, regret every gram of fat, and strive for the impossible.
I was only eleven- when my parents saw me they applauded my success. It made them happy, so eleven year old me thought I was doing something good. Wellspring didn’t promote a healthy diet- it promoted obsessive behavior, training us to feel shame for eating.
They insisted we were “taking control of our health”. That obsession with control is what drives most eating disorders. I was afraid to eat after that. I skipped lunch. I felt like the biggest failure every time I caved and ate pizza and other junk food.
That camp was utterly toxic.
Seriously, FUCK Wellspring. You’re exactly right on so many levels. I was, luckily, a little older but it’s still taken years to break free of those destructive behaviors and just enjoy food and myself again. I was 15-16 and I had great friends there who also saw through the shit it was and helped me after we all came home, but the fact such a place exists is really terrifying. When I got home I actually had to go to an eating disorder clinic because I backlashed from those habits so hard I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder. I literally could not get enough of food because I had had so little in that stupid school. And then after that I still gained all my weight back and then some :)) and I’ve had to have weight loss surgery to make up for “lost profit”, as my parents call it.
!!! I’ve had weight loss surgery too !!! I got a gastric sleeve in December because if I didn’t drop the weight I was almost guaranteed to develop Diabetes within a year or two, since it runs in the family.
Seriously, those camps introduced me to disordered eating behaviors- I tried all sorts of bad habits at first- then nine months after the first camp my trauma happened and my ED really took hold since I remembered how good it felt to be in control of my body. I’m currently in remission for bulimia, though I do relapse here and there. I didn’t get diagnosed for so long because I didn’t look like I had bulimia- people assume that if you’re fat you can’t possibly have an ED.
Plus, since those “diets” aren’t realistic, you just gain the weight right back like you said! And every time you gain weight back, it’s harder to lose it the next time. My mom started putting me on diets when I was eight, so by the time I was sixteen it was IMPOSSIBLE to lose weight. I worked out five times a week for an entire summer and worked out regularly. I lost two pounds. FUCK Wellspring and it’s dangerous camps.
PFFFT I feel that.
//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//
FU KC
Gosh those camps/schools are hell- they’re so unhealthy it’s just sickening. And a lot of times these kids are so young and impressionable- I was 11 when my mom sent me two states away for two months. We got to use computers once a week, and if we got more steps in we could earn extra computer time. We couldn’t have any electronics except iPod that couldn’t get internet. I just… looking back it took me a few years to realize how horrible it all was, and how they warped our way of thinking.
That sounds so similar to mine wow.. Was it a Wellspring camp perchance?? Because that’s eerily like the Wellspring school I went to for 10 months. We had one phonecall home a week that only lasted 10 minutes (we were timed), couldn’t use mp3 players if it had a screen, no phones or laptops or anything because it was all confiscated.. But we also couldn’t get within 5 feet of the opposite sex, had to journal everything we ate and would be punished with literal solitary confinement if we broke the rules once too many times.
It was Wellspring!!! All three times!!! Oh my gosh I can’t believe you went there too!!! Man, I almost forgot they had boarding schools. Thank God I only went for two months, then one month, then two months. Sure, I lost weight, but in the unhealthiest way.
And they taught such awful things- 20g of fat or less a day?! That’s so bad for you- plus, fat free foods compensate by loading them with sugar, so it’s better not to eat fat free foods…. I remember working out for over 8 hours a day- and during free time I went to the 5k club because I was so obsessed with losing weight, I ran and ran while others did crafts or things I wish I’d done.
It’s so validating to talk to someone else who went through that- though I’m sad you had to experience it too. :c
OH MY GOD ANOTHER WELLSPRINGER I NEVER IMAGINED ????///
Yeah I went for 10 months and almost went back for my senior year and it was utterly unbearable??? I met my best friend there but only because like.. that terrible shit will bring people together you know?
And it was so unrealistic. YEAH 20G OF FAT A DAY YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A SINGLE MEAL IN TYPICAL AMERICA HAS? AT LEAST THAT. You can’t just shop around for the shit you need to make that happen, even if it WAS truly the “best” diet. no, nonononono. Impossible. And we had 3 PE sessions a day on top of normal schooling so ???? yeah literally impossible in real life
and yeah sugar turns into fat so it literally did nothing for us
and if I ever even HEAR the words “peanut wonder” again I might just vomit relentlessly that stuff was so nasty ughjkdsjklkd
but yes wellspring 1000% promoted eating disorder behavior and unrealistic views of the world and it has permanently damaged so many of the people I went there with. zero out of fucking ten do not recommend
BUT what’s funny is that literally a year after I went, my best friend who was forced to go back reported THEY SHUT DOWN OUR SCHOOL like it’s literally not there anymore. Maybe word’s getting out about how terrible it is.
Holy shit- hopefully people are seeing how toxic those camps and schools are. They literally endorsing eating as little as possible and exercising as much as possible. There were a couple days where I ate 100 calorie and no fat. 100. Fucking. Calories. Not to mention how they made us write down everything we ate along with the calories and fat content??? They trained us to count every calorie, regret every gram of fat, and strive for the impossible.
I was only eleven- when my parents saw me they applauded my success. It made them happy, so eleven year old me thought I was doing something good. Wellspring didn’t promote a healthy diet- it promoted obsessive behavior, training us to feel shame for eating.
They insisted we were “taking control of our health”. That obsession with control is what drives most eating disorders. I was afraid to eat after that. I skipped lunch. I felt like the biggest failure every time I caved and ate pizza and other junk food.
That camp was utterly toxic.