pea-gravel:

pea-gravel:

greenekangaroo:

did you know that out of the 44 states where powerball is played, only six allow you to remain anonymous should you win?

Imagine that. Just take a moment. You’ve won some ridiculous sum of money. All your problems are over. 

And then the phone calls start.

That shit’s gotta be reconsidered. That is not okay. 

Yep. Win the lottery, you are fucked. The following is all half-remembered from a Reddit thread a while back, but it’s good advice (if I find the thread again I’ll link it).

This is why you CONTACT A LAWYER. A lawyer from a LARGE, NATIONAL FIRM, no juniors or associates, you want a full-blown partner. Don’t use anyone local or anything. You want somebody who has no clue who you are, and somebody who works in ‘Trusts and Estates’.

Play dress-up when you go to collect your money if there is any possibility of photographs. Been wanting to change your hair drastically? DO IT AFTER. Now is the time for all that foundation that doesn’t match and the makeup you hate! Wear the stupid hat that makes you look like a flower pot! Wear the clothes that make you look like you have a totally different body shape! Grow the douchebeard! Just change what you look like. You don’t want to be recognized. There was a lottery winner who was forced away from his favorite eating spot because financial stalkers would lurk and demand cash or ‘suggest’ ways to spend his money, and these weren’t people interested in job interviews or anything. When he had to stop going there, they figured out where he lived and started intimidating and accosting family members.

See if you can get them to write your name differently if there’s a giant cheque, too. Instead of Alyn Tony Jones or something, see if they’ll just put A. T. Jones. Now, I’m fucked because my last name is pretty unique, but you might not be!

Collect your prize in a locale that is as far away from your home area as possible. By this point, you should have already made your plans for all of this shit and where the money is going, read ahead for that. Then? Vanish. For a month. Take a cruise or just take off in your car or go rent a beachfront. Roleplay Carmen Sandiego or Where’s Waldo. Wait for everyone to calm their tits.

Take the lump sum. You take a tax hit but you also have access to all the cash, and no, you won’t be beating inflation somehow by taking the annuity.

Decide, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, how much you are going to give to your family and friends. Inform your lawyer of that amount. Don’t talk to your family about this or you get into endless arguments over how much you gave to who, and who influenced you to do that, which– no joke– may result in a lawsuit. Because people are greedy, ignorant, and sue-happy.

Worth noting. Do not buy them sweet fuck all, and do not under any circumstances hand out cash (you will never be able to stop without being labeled a stingy bitch). No houses. No cars. Set up trusts. These trusts should not total more than 15-20% of your new worth. Then dictate what they can do with that trust. Higher education? Sure! Down payment for a house? Eh… should they be buying a house if they can’t even afford the down payment without help? It’s another thing entirely if something in the house that wasn’t their fault catastrophically failed. You’ve already set up a trust for them that is massively generous.

Put like 30% of your cash in a Swiss bank account and buy some municipal bonds, Swiss bonds, an S&P 500 doodah. These are your safety nets. Unless the world economy gets drop-kicked into the toilet, you are now taken care of for life solely off of these. So you could go nuts on whatever remains and buy eight thousand spinning wheels or something. With your lawyer (LAWYER) you should be protected from most lawsuits, and the trusts ensure your family is taken care of because those trusts cannot be touched. However, don’t put all your money in these– invest in some real estate, stocks and bonds, whatever. But learn about it all and figure out how this shit works. Do not sign ANYTHING until you understand exactly what is going on, and ask every stupid question before signing and get second opinions. You do not want to be snookered out of your cash.

So. You should also have: changed your phone numbers to unlisted ones, gotten a PO box and immediately switched all mail delivery to the PO box. Shred any mail that turns up that is not from somebody you know. 

This is all half-remembered from some Reddit thread back when everyone was flipping their shit over that 600mil lottery.

Rebagel for the late-night crowd.

wickedlyhorrified:

searlait:

caelestys:

Dear Baby Boomer Generation:

You know, we try really hard not to hate you. Really hard. You’re my parents’ generation, you know? And I fucking love my parents.

But your generation really needs to learn to shut up and take a good, hard look at yourselves.

Today, I tried to get advice in a civil, polite and educated manner about a situation in which one is trying to juggle work and uni. I wanted to know how one could navigate the narrow criteria to qualify for youth payments from the government. And while some people were helpful, some were outright disgusting. All they could say is “KIDS THESE DAYS ARE SO SELFISH/LAZY/ETC MAYBE YOU SHOULD SPEND LESS TIME ON YOUR SOCIAL LIFE.”

Okay, firstly–if I ask you for advice and that is your response, which, by the way, I CAN DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH, how about you shut the fuck up?

Secondly, are you seriously fucking saying that every single person in my generation doesn’t work hard? You’re saying that to me? I’m a DIRECTOR at the age of 24 in an organisation with over 200 employees. I have two degrees. I work, intern, study, and volunteer, and the first thing that gets put aside when I’m busy is my social life. And you know what that results in? A FUCKING LOT OF CRYING AND PANICKING AND PSYCHOLOGIST APPOINTMENTS. I have a great resume and references, but do you know how much I paid for that in terms of my own fucking sanity?? A FEW FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS IN TEARS, THANK YOU.

Thirdly, let’s talk about how the average burn-out rate in my youth organisation is 7 months. 7 months, and these are kids who volunteer, as well as study at uni or school, work and pay their own rent, utilities and bills, and are under the age of 22, in most cases.

My 21 year old director messaged me today to tell me she wasn’t coming in because had a mental break and panic attack last night, and she’s only been in the role for 3 months.

My 24 year old best friend had a nervous breakdown last month because of the stress of her workload, working full time at EY and studying 1 unit of uni.

My 25 year old ex-boyfriend and I split up because he didn’t have the time or mental capacity for a long distance relationship on top of his 60 hour graduate working week in construction management and 2 units of uni.

I had a meltdown last year at 23 because I was handling full time uni, and internship and volunteering. I can’t get a job despite testing within the top 15th percentile of graduates because you’re not creating them.

I went for a meeting at one of the biggest financial management organisations in Australia the other day and was told that the 9-5 job was a lie, that you’re expected to work more, and not be paid for overtime.

Our generation works our fucking asses off. You take advantage of us all the fucking time. We’re the first generation to be less wealthy than our parents because you guys fucked off with the economic boom of the early 2000s and left us with nothing. By 24-34, we’re only 48% likely to own our own homes compared to your 61%, because of your unsustainable housing market boom. On that note, did I mention that although average wage has rise by 27%, average housing prices have risen by 121%? Yep. My parents bought my house for ~$200,000 in 1990. In 2015, it’s valued at $750,000. Also, you are now making us pay for our university degrees when you got them for free, and not only that, but according to the Governments’ changes in tax law and war on universities in the past year, it will now take us twice as long to pay off our university debts. We’re the first generation of tertiary-educated Australians in history who will start work already in debt because of our university degrees.

Your generation is the one that has been labelled as the ones with the obsession with “instant gratification, a tendency for poor planning, and a sense of materialism”.  We’re the offspring of you, the most divorced generation in history. 

You hate us, but we’re a generation who grew up with war, with terrorism, with fear and conflict and murder and the aftereffects of capitalist bloodshed on our screens every day. We’re watching society fall down around our ears. My International Security professor told us last year that there will be kids entering high school soon who have never seen a year of peace in their lives.

We’re the ones who have been saddled with the mistakes you’ve made. We’re the ones who are holding on to each other despite our differences and telling each other it’s okay to be who we are, whether we’re gay or straight or black or white. Who are trying to save the environment, who are trying to solve your wars and find homes for the asylum seekers you’ve created, who are trying to cure poverty and wage inequality and food distribution, who run your social impact teams, who volunteer, who study courses that are going to change the world, who give back to society, who travel, all the while building our character strengths and portfolios so that we fit into the dumb as fuck capitalist world you made - and all you can say is that we’re lazy?

FUCK you.

As someone with two degrees and working two demanding jobs and still not pulling in enough to live on each month, this speaks to me, even across the ocean.

holy fuck. I think this applies to more countries.

crystal-gems:

rose-quartzs-room:

Doll Divine has been working on making a gemsona doll maker for a while and… it’s finally out! Click here to find it! It’s super cool, especially if you have a gemsona and can’t draw, or if you’re just trying to make a new one!

There are a ton of different gems to choose from, several shapes, and several places to put the gem(s)! 

Not only that but there’s pretty much no limit to what body type your gemsona can have! You can customize EVERYTHING. You can even add more arms if you want to make a gem fusion!

You can give them cool outfits and cool eye(s) and cool classes and pretty much cool anything! I literally made this one in live five minutes so if you actually take your time to make one just imagine how cool it can be.

Click here to get to doll maker!

:U

Undertale Bad Time Simulator

zephiiaa:

For Undertale fans out there looking to have a bad time with Sans, I’d just like to share a gem with you all where you can simulate an endless bad time here! You can choose between having a good time, a bad time, or even having a really bad time too if you’re up for it. It even plays Megalovania in the background and it’s overall just really addicting and fun to play as a past time. Enjoy and have a sansational bad time!