Step 1: Acknowledge that while your perspective may be skewed, your feelings are still very real. Whether you’re acting on fact or assumptions, your feelings are still valid in the sense that you can’t control how you feel, and you should not feel ashamed for feeling.

Step 2: Pretend you’re a friend or counselor and explain to yourself all of the reasons the troublesome thought is not true. Affirm yourself without shaming yourself for feeling.

Step 3: If you need a few minutes alone to gather yourself, say you have to go to the restroom and do a bit of deep breathing while thinking of the nicest things people have done for you; awesome birthday gifts, words of encouragement, a fun family vacation, a silly memory of a friend. Let these kind of thoughts flood you.

Step 4: Profit.