I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. I had in my hand a small plastic tupperware container- it was meant for a sauce, such as ranch, and therefore could vaguely be described as shotglass-shaped. I use it to take my nightly cocktail of medications in one go. After doing so, I looked down and saw a spider in the corner of the bathroom. I’ve decided to name all malicious spiders ((spiders within killing range and therefore terrifying)) Damien. So, I concocted a plan on the spot. Grabbing a was of toiler paper and my plastic “shotglass”, I crept like a lithe hunter. Then, the attack.
The cup clattered over the prey perfectly, trapping Damien. You may be wondering ‘okay, what now?!?’. You would think I would have to release him to squash him, right? Oh, no. No, no, no. That would be too risky. This cup is plastic, and the floor is smooth-ish tile. So here’s what I do.
Keeping the plastic TIGHTLY pressed against the tile ((very tightly)), I slide the cup rapidly across the floor, shaking the spider within violently, letting gravity do the dirty dead. Once the spider is presumably dead or at least immobilized by shock, I lift the cup and quickly squish the arachnid to ensure the kill. Always double-tap.