PERSONA DANCING ALL OVER MY SOUL
"I generally just tumble around."

Casual Reminder To Eat Food

I know that for some people it’s really hard, but please make sure you’re eating enough food to nourish your body. Your body works really fucking hard and it deserves to be taken care of. Even if all you’re able to get down is a few bites or a light snack, it’s still something and I’m proud of you.

Thanksgiving can be incredibly difficult and triggering for people with eating disorders, so if you have an ED or are in recovery from one, I just want you to know that you’re valid and you’re gonna get through this. I hope y’all are able to enjoy the holiday and take care of yourselves. <3

Don’t forget to celebrate the small things.

To some people, it feels like you’re doing the bare minimum. However, if you’re doing things even when they extremely hard for you (in regards to taking care of yourself), you need to remember that you’re a fucking badass for doing it and you’re doing amazing.

Today, I ate before noon for the first time in weeks. My mom smiled and congratulated me, saying I did good. My girlfriend was proud of me and let me know it. It’s hard for me to love myself or affirm myself for doing these things I feel like I should be able to do easily, but those simple words of praise made a big difference.

sixtynine-sixtynine asks:
I know right, I'm smoother than a fresh jar of skippy. //promptly trips over 9385348 wires and eats dirt

acceptmyshaft:

thewritegrump:

justaprinceofthegalaxy:

PFFFT I feel that.

//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//

FU KC

Duuude!!! Where the hell have you been this is incredible!!!

And lmao I know that feel! Nowadays when I go to Olive Garden with my best friend I don’t order an entree– either just salad or a dessert, and then Matt gives me few bites of their dish and it works well. C:

TBPH I love the sleeve- the only drawback is that it’s hard to get enough nutrients! I am taking vitamins now but it’s very difficult to eat enough protein. XD And I’m so sick of protein shakes after drinking them pre-op and post-op!!! Luckily the pinto beans at work are easy to eat and high in protein. C: I freakin’ love pinto beans with cheese and a bit of rice like damn that’s what I’m about.

Oh my gosh I can only imagine what it was like behind the scenes! They always warp the truth on reality shows- they twist it and edit it to show only what they want the audience to see.

I remember my mom making me watch a few episodes of Too Fat for Fifteen… gosh, I seriously don’t know how you survived ten months there!!! I would have lost it.

Oh god the protein shakes post-op.. The clear protein drinks were the actual worst??? Iso-Pur I think they were called? They left this like, wet-paper type gunk in my mouth every time I drank it, and I could only have like a shot glass at a time so I can’t imagine what it’d be like drinking the entire damn thing.. ew.. 

I actually have never had pinto beans, somehow. I’ll have to give that a shot! I’m really picky about my proteins so I’m glad you mentioned that :D 

My parents have taken to instead of making full-sized burgers on the grill they’ll make little slider burgers instead, and I can eat them on those little sweet Hawaiian Rolls or with no bun at all depending on how my stomach feels that day. They always are juuust right and since you split them into smaller portions, I can usually eat off a single pound of ground beef for a couple days or more if my parents would let me. 

I always have a hard time portioning my “classes” though - like, if I were to eat 7 bites of something, it should be like 3 bites protein, 2 bite carbs, 2 bite fruit/veg or whatever.. I still haven’t mastered that, so I often just do what I enjoy and it works out. I’m not losing any more weight from my initial heavy drop after the operation, but I’m at the same weight I was when I plateaued at Wellspring so I guess that means this is where my body wants to stay, even if that’s not what a BMI calculator says I should be. (And honestly, screw BMI calculators too.)

Yeah, pinto beans are great! And although I try not to mind those details anymore, I do have to note they’re fat free. So I put a lot of cheese on it and it’s so good!!!

Oh gosh, I only drank the premier protein shakes? And I only liked the chocolate one so all I drank was chocolate protein shakes for like a month it sucked! I also drank a lot of chicked broth the first week or two after the operation- that I didn’t get sick of b/c I love savory and salty food. XD

Oooh, that’s smart! I’ll mention the sliders thing to my dad. ouo It’s hard for him to cook now b/c my portions are so small. Speaking of protein, I’ve never heard of the dividing the nutrients bite by bite! I just sort of eat and my body lets me know if it needs more protein, lmao.

How long ago did you get the surgery? I’m about 8 months post-op and I’m still losing, though a lot more slowly now. I don’t know when it’ll stop, tbh. O.o And yeah, the BMI scale is a really inaccurate way to measure health. I try to pay little mind to it, honestly.

I’m right around the lowest weight I’ve been since after camp #1. I kinda hope I plateau soon because I don’t want my weight to dip too low???

sixtynine-sixtynine asks:
I know right, I'm smoother than a fresh jar of skippy. //promptly trips over 9385348 wires and eats dirt

acceptmyshaft:

thewritegrump:

acceptmyshaft:

thewritegrump:

justaprinceofthegalaxy:

PFFFT I feel that.

//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//

FU KC

Gosh those camps/schools are hell- they’re so unhealthy it’s just sickening. And a lot of times these kids are so young and impressionable- I was 11 when my mom sent me two states away for two months. We got to use computers once a week, and if we got more steps in we could earn extra computer time. We couldn’t have any electronics except iPod that couldn’t get internet. I just… looking back it took me a few years to realize how horrible it all was, and how they warped our way of thinking.

That sounds so similar to mine wow.. Was it a Wellspring camp perchance?? Because that’s eerily like the Wellspring school I went to for 10 months. We had one phonecall home a week that only lasted 10 minutes (we were timed), couldn’t use mp3 players if it had a screen, no phones or laptops or anything because it was all confiscated.. But we also couldn’t get within 5 feet of the opposite sex, had to journal everything we ate and would be punished with literal solitary confinement if we broke the rules once too many times. 

It was Wellspring!!! All three times!!! Oh my gosh I can’t believe you went there too!!! Man, I almost forgot they had boarding schools. Thank God I only went for two months, then one month, then two months. Sure, I lost weight, but in the unhealthiest way. 

And they taught such awful things- 20g of fat or less a day?! That’s so bad for you- plus, fat free foods compensate by loading them with sugar, so it’s better not to eat fat free foods…. I remember working out for over 8 hours a day- and during free time I went to the 5k club because I was so obsessed with losing weight, I ran and ran while others did crafts or things I wish I’d done.

It’s so validating to talk to someone else who went through that- though I’m sad you had to experience it too. :c

OH MY GOD ANOTHER WELLSPRINGER I NEVER IMAGINED ????///

Yeah I went for 10 months and almost went back for my senior year and it was utterly unbearable??? I met my best friend there but only because like.. that terrible shit will bring people together you know?

And it was so unrealistic. YEAH 20G OF FAT A DAY YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A SINGLE MEAL IN TYPICAL AMERICA HAS? AT LEAST THAT. You can’t just shop around for the shit you need to make that happen, even if it WAS truly the “best” diet. no, nonononono. Impossible. And we had 3 PE sessions a day on top of normal schooling so ???? yeah literally impossible in real life

and yeah sugar turns into fat so it literally did nothing for us

and if I ever even HEAR the words “peanut wonder” again I might just vomit relentlessly that stuff was so nasty ughjkdsjklkd

but yes wellspring 1000% promoted eating disorder behavior and unrealistic views of the world and it has permanently damaged so many of the people I went there with. zero out of fucking ten do not recommend

BUT what’s funny is that literally a year after I went, my best friend who was forced to go back reported THEY SHUT DOWN OUR SCHOOL like it’s literally not there anymore. Maybe word’s getting out about how terrible it is.

Holy shit- hopefully people are seeing how toxic those camps and schools are. They literally endorsing eating as little as possible and exercising as much as possible. There were a couple days where I ate 100 calorie and no fat. 100. Fucking. Calories. Not to mention how they made us write down everything we ate along with the calories and fat content??? They trained us to count every calorie, regret every gram of fat, and strive for the impossible. 

I was only eleven- when my parents saw me they applauded my success. It made them happy, so eleven year old me thought I was doing something good. Wellspring didn’t promote a healthy diet- it promoted obsessive behavior, training us to feel shame for eating.

They insisted we were “taking control of our health”. That obsession with control is what drives most eating disorders. I was afraid to eat after that. I skipped lunch. I felt like the biggest failure every time I caved and ate pizza and other junk food.

That camp was utterly toxic.

humorinrecovery:
“Being offered a fear food
”

humorinrecovery:

Being offered a fear food

humorinrecovery:
“Being told you look good when you’ve lost weight from your eating disorder
”

humorinrecovery:

Being told you look good when you’ve lost weight from your eating disorder

The reality is that fat people are often supported in hating their bodies, in starving themselves, in engaging in unsafe exercise, and in seeking out weight loss by any means necessary. A thin person who does these things is considered mentally ill. A fat person who does these things is redeemed by them. This is why our culture has no concept of a fat person who also has an eating disorder. If you’re fat, it’s not an eating disorder — it’s a lifestyle change.

Lesley Kinzel (via curvesahead)

I will always reblog this because it is so so important. 

(via infinitetransit)

I just want to nail this to every stable surface I can find. I cannot count the amount of times that I’ve seen fat folks being encouraged, cajoled, and even forced into behaviors that would be recognized as disordered eating/exercising patterns in thin folks. 

Pretty much everything that’s done on shows like The Biggest Loser would be called out as pro-ana/pro-orthorexia in a thin person. Exercising past the point that it hurts, to the point where you’re throwing up, even injuring yourself? Berating yourself because you didn’t lose ENOUGH weight this week? Constantly talking about how fat is weakness and thinness will make everything better, about how you can’t stand to be your current weight anymore? Emphasis on weight as a sign of how much control, strength, and worth you have? Viewing food as bad, as a temptation to sin? Constant sharing and talking about tips on how to minimize food intake, how to lose weight? 

That sounds exactly like every pro-ana/pro-mia blog I’ve ever seen. It’s also what fat people are told we need to be doing to ourselves until we’re thin. 

(via madamethursday)

I’VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR A LONG TIME THAT EATING DISORDERS AND SELF-HARM AND SELF-HATE ARE ENCOURAGED IN FAT PEOPLE.

(via locsgirl)

YES YES YES!

(via crazysexyfierce)

(Source: xojane.com)

Hello my lovely followers!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and for a lot of you that means getting together with a lot of family members over dinner or something of like.

I know that some of you guys struggle with eating disorders or are in the process of recovery, and I just wanted to wish you well because I know how stressful family functions can be when you’re going through that.

Just remember that nobody’s opinions on what you do/don’t eat matter, and that you should only do what you’re comfortable with. Remember, if you feel to overwhelmed, you can always step outside for a bit or just find somewhere quiet. You don’t owe it to anyone to do anything; Christmas is a time to celebrate being with your family, and hopefully you’ll be spending time with family members who are caring and supportive, whether they know of your struggles or not.

My heart goes out to all of my recovering followers, and I wish youa  safe and happy holiday!