I lost my job today- well, one of them. It’s the second time I’ve been fired from there, with both times being the product of poor communication on both sides. It was my job with hourly pay, so now I just have the stipend position. I’ve already applied for another job, because I need it. Hopefully I hear back soon.
When I found out, all of me came to a grinding halt. I just sort of went to the bathroom and laid on the floor, because I didn’t know what else to do but feel the cold linoleum and stare at a blank ceiling.
Last time I was fired, I was a sobbing mess, wrapped up on a comforter on my couch and shoveling down a quart of spumoni ice cream.
This time, it was oddly calm. At first I wept. Then she held me tightly. I didn’t want to talk about it so I played video games, ate ice cream, and slept.
When I woke up, I was distressed but not nearly as much as I thought I would be. When I started to cry, she held me close and started listing off things. Things I do, things I am… things I never think about, like my eyes lighting up over the smallest of things when they make me happy, or the way I pack her lunches for work and leave little notes in the bag, or the way I never want to stop learning… I don’t think about those things much.
This time around, there was no sobbing, no burying myself on the couch, and only a minimal amount of ice cream.
I’m growing, aren’t I?