Today I was watching a video about weddings and I got all excited because some day I’m going to get married.
But then I got really sad because I’ll be a huge disappointment and failure to my family since I plan on transitioning and marrying a beautiful woman (or maybe a man I suppose) at the altar with me wearing a suit and I feel like if my dad is still alive then he’d sooner cry than dare go to such an event.
And then I just get really miserable.
When I came out as trans* to my dad, he started crying.
When I got packages in the mail addressed to Jack, he asked me to order things under my birth name so he didn’t have to see my name when he got the mail.
And I just kind of lay here and think about how it will make my dad hurt so much for me to transition and start hormone therapy and all this stuff that I’m looking forward too so much.
And then I wonder if I should just not transition and live my life as a girl because making my dad cry is the worst feeling. Maybe it’d be better to be someone else and make my family proud than to be me because I’m not the daughter my parents expected.
And then I figure I just won’t ever get married so I never have to deal with this. I’ll just be alone forever and never get too close to anyone, because that’d be better than seeing that look on my dad’s face.
And that’s about the point where I just toss and turn all night and cry.
If you’re expecting a fandom tag to be your ‘safe space’ AKA fuzzy echo chamber, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Besides people love to yell at people for disagreeing with them regardless of what…
Being nice doesn’t always work.
And I don’t owe to ANYONE to be nice to them if I have to demand my rights from them.
For example, if someone refuses to use my preferred name or pronouns, that’s a personal attack on me and like hell I’m going to put up with that. The first time I’ll assume they didn’t know and be nice about it, but I have people in my life that knowingly and persistently use the wrong pronouns with me. And I’m suppose to “play nice” with them? No. They’re trash and I’ll treat them like trash.
The fact that any marginalized group even has to ask for their rights is grounds for them to take it back by whatever means.
Fuck this anti-sj “well maybe people would give you the rights they had no grounds to take away from you in the first place if you were a little nicer” mentality.
This is my hair currently. A little over a year ago I was sporting a boy cut. I hardly had even two inches of hair, so this is the longest it’s been in a long time. I decided to let it grow out shortly after my best friend had come out to me. My best friend and I had spent most of our lives…
This is my best friend. She’s the most incredible, loving person I could ever ask for in my life and I wouldn’t even be here right now if it weren’t for the kindness and compassion she’s poured out to me. There have been times where I didn’t deserve a single friend in the world, times when I took her for granted. There were even times when she needed me but I wasn’t there for her.
I remember when she first told me she was doing this until I start hormone therapy, I was floored. I still am. I always will be. It could be two more years at least before I start my hormone treatment. I’ve told her she could cut her hair, but she’s refused every time.
This is my best friend. I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but not a day goes by where I don’t thank God for putting this ebullient, brilliant, unique, stunning, and amazing person in my life.
I hate it when things are going so well but then something shows up on my dash that’s triggering and I just can’t life and now I'ma just go curl up for a bit okay cool.
I honestly can’t stand people who say stuff like “I only got an iPad for Christmas.” or “Ugh my mom is such a bitch I wanted a PS3 not an Xbox! Damnit mom, get it right!” because it’s like… dude. I hope you realize that some people get literally nothing for Christmas.
I was born into a very fortunate position where although my parents are gone a lot because of how hard they have to work, they can afford nice things. My best friend was born into a family with money struggles, so for her she doesn’t get a whole lot. Because I know what her life is like, it just makes me sick to my stomach that people with families like mine bitch about not getting every damn thing they wanted or it wasn’t the right color or something silly like that.
I just can’t even people who take advantage of how much they have.
I don’t care how mad you are at somebody, cursing them out and calling them petty names is still uncalled for.
Not only are you reciprocating the hate that made you upset in the first place, which will in turn just cause a circle of hate, but nobody deserves to be cursed out (at least, I can guarantee that 95% of the people you get mad at).
This is kind of personal for me so I’m not going into a bunch of details, but I went through an abusive “relationship” (I use the term relationship very loosely) where the words and threats were the driving factor. And that shit HURTS. Words are arguable more powerful than actions, and to think that someone is getting called a “stupid c*nt” or a “bitch” makes me cringe because it reminds me of what I went through.
I don’t care if they called you an expletive first. I don’t care if they’re at fault.
You can express your anger and reprimand them without pettily cursing someone out.
Maybe it’s just me, but calling people filthy, low names is one of the worst things you can do, and for many people I know, including myself, it can be damn triggering.
Guard your tongue; it’s your strongest weapon.
**Swearing is 1000000% different than swearing AT someone
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and for a lot of you that means getting together with a lot of family members over dinner or something of like.
I know that some of you guys struggle with eating disorders or are in the process of recovery, and I just wanted to wish you well because I know how stressful family functions can be when you’re going through that.
Just remember that nobody’s opinions on what you do/don’t eat matter, and that you should only do what you’re comfortable with. Remember, if you feel to overwhelmed, you can always step outside for a bit or just find somewhere quiet. You don’t owe it to anyone to do anything; Christmas is a time to celebrate being with your family, and hopefully you’ll be spending time with family members who are caring and supportive, whether they know of your struggles or not.
My heart goes out to all of my recovering followers, and I wish youa safe and happy holiday!
shout out to all my followers struggling with their eating during the holidays, to everybody with unsupportive families, to everybody feeling weak, to everybody wanting to lock themselves in their room all night, to everybody anxious and panicked and…
*cries in a corner* recovering anorexic. This post hit home. People need to understand we that we can’t “just eat and get over it” *sigh*
*hugs*
Oh bby, I feel for you. I’m eight months recovered from purging, and it’s hard sometimes, y'know? I still struggle with overeating literally every day, so the holidays can be rough on me as well.
I wish you a safe and happy holiday these next few days. I’ll keep you in my prayers! you can get through it, even if it’s a stressful time for people in recovery. <3
but half of the people who have voted in this so far have listed my OC, Jack, as one of their favorite characters.
I honestly can’t even.
You can call me stupid or whatever but that makes me really happy,
because one of the best things about making an OC is sharing them with others, and showing everyone this beautiful creature you’ve created. Getting to show people who Jack is, where he’s been, and how his character will grow makes me so incredibly happy.
Jack is based off of me a lot (hey look we even have the same name imagine that whoa), so I absolutely love RP-ing as him and showing him to others, as then I feel like I’m showing part of myself to other people. I’ve shared a lot of Jack’s struggles. Although I’ve never been kicked out of my house, thankfully, I’ve lived through and am living through a ton of what Jack deals with. He’s a piece of me that I want people to see and laugh with him when he does something totally dorky or gasp when suddenly he seems like a whole different person of awww when him and Monica are cute because I see myself in him.
So TL;DR
Everyone who has mentioned Jack, who has appreciated Jack, made fanart for him, anaylzed his character, RP’d with him, and anything else of the sort, I am so joyous.
This may sound cheesy as all get out, but I’m really touched, and it makes me so enthralled; I just want to hug each and every one of you!
