Who Should You Fight? ((Undertale Edition))

Frisk: .....why???? Really, why? Literally everyone else has tried to kill them, so I can see why you would want a turn, but do you really think this is a good idea? Think about your life. Think about your choices.
Toriel: Just try it lmao- no really, do it. I'm sure that will go SO well for you. Sure, she looks sweet and gentle, and she is, but if you even try to lay a hand on her or anyone else, she will W R E C K YOU. You gon' be roasted with fire magic and baked into a snail pie. Good try.
Sans: N O NO NO NO NO NO NNOOOOOOO YOU WILL HAVE A BA D TIME
Papyrus: What the hell is wrong with you? You could, and you'd win, but here's the fucked up thing: Papyrus totally COULD kick your ass. He could kill you if he damn well pleased. Though this little cinna-skeleton will never let you get lower than 1HP; if you still have the audacity to fight him... sure, you'll win... but at what cost?
Undyne: Do it. Just fight her. Just fucking fight her. I mean, sure, she'll absolutely wreck you, but you'll still have a fun time. If you accidentally die, you have to admit it'd be kind of worth it, right?
Dr. Alphys: Dude, why? She's got her own issues- don't be a dick. Even if you tried, anyways, you'd have MTT on your ass in a split-second, and not even in the fun sexual way. Dr. Alpyhs isn't really strong but the people who will slaughter you for hurting her are.
Mettaton: Honestly a wild card; there's a chance you'll kick his fabulous ass into the dumpster and he'll go down looking like a 10/10, or there's a chance he'll absolutely obliterate you. You won't know which it is until it's happening. Good luck. Also, remember: legs is the answer.
Muffet: You are literally going to be covered in spiders and potentially fed to an insect cupcake. Do you really want that? Bad idea, dude. Bad, bad, idea.
Burgerpants: You totally could, you know. May as well kick a man while he's down, I guess. Nobody will really call you out on it either. He'll probably just laugh and hope he gets to take time off of work to recover.
Napstablook: NO. YOU CAN'T. HE IS A GHOST YOU LITERALLY CANNOT. SO WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TRY. DON'T EVEN FUCKING TRY OR ME AND METTATON WILL SHOW UP AT YOUR DOORSTEP WITH A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS TO OPEN ALL OVER YOU.
Asgore: Eh, sure. I mean, he's really tough so there's a good chance you'll get your ass handed to you. Well, actually, that's not true. It depends on if you can even get him to fight. He doesn't want to fight you- don't make him. If you make him fight you, you will get fucked up.
Flowey: FUCK FLOWEY. I'll even give you the weed killer to get it done. As long as he doesn't absorb other peoples' souls you should be fine. Give this prick a what-for. He's the one saying kill or be killed, so you may as well just go for it. Sky's the limit when you don't give a fuck.
Asriel: ....why?
Chara: You dead.