I don’t want to hijack that other thread where women are discussing this but I am not a woman and I experience the same thing when a man raises his voice; an instant emotional shutdown like he might flip out and kill me any moment.
It has to come from how we tend to raise women because I never spent time with anyone but my mother, grandmother and their friends - other women - at almost any point in my childhood to mid-teens and was never exposed to men until I started working as an adult.
Even a man who is saying friendly things loudly enough does it. It instills like an instant “do what he wants and stay quiet or try to flee” brain-response. I turn into a silently nodding, smiling robot.
It must be hard to exist when you’re scared of your own goddamn voice.
My voice never dropped during puberty. It’s quiet and high-pitched. Also, I am talking about people actually shouting, because they’re angry or excited. That’s not everyone every day.
I have social and noise anxiety due to abuse experiences, thanks.
“haha it’s so funny how men being legitimately unpredictable and terrifying scares people, wtf can u believe that??”
how is talking in a loud voice unpredictable and terrifying?
how are you being scared of your own shadow count as other people’s problem? or a social issue, for that matter?
Bogleech, I have a question for you.
You say you have noise anxiety due to abuse.
But in your OP you say you were raised around women and only interacted with men during work later in life.
If that’s the case doesn’t that mean the noise and abuse was caused by women?
Doesn’t that mean that you’re fearful of a gender that hasn’t done anything to you because of the actions of the other gender? Shouldn’t women raising their voice be the terrifying thing for you?
Or was there a male abuser somewhere in your childhood you just didn’t want to mention?
“And yeah, I grew up in a household full of screaming and verbal abuse so I just go blank as soon as anybody seems angry.
“
Wow
When people caught lying their ass off.
I had a father who fought loudly with my mother. I spent no personal time with him or directly interacted with him most of my life. What’s the “lie” supposed to be, exactly?
It’s incredible how wounded and upset all these “anti feminists” are in a post where I didn’t actually belittle, stereotype or blame men.
Or it would be incredible if that wasn’t literally all these bloggers have ever done.
Hmm okay. So you spent like no time with him yet you’re magically triggered by loud voices?
@takashi0
Hooooooly fucking shit are you seriously not grasping this simple concept or are you pretending to be this obtuse to drag personal shit out of someone?
I spent no time with my father for most of my upbringing because most of what he did was come home from work and start rampaging. I hid in my fucking bedroom with a locked and barricaded door.
Are you not understanding ths because you somehowcount that as “spending time” with someone? Is that what you consider “interaction” with a parent or direct “exposure” to a human being? Being in the same building? No wonder you’re a fucked up wannabe troll who brags about being “anti fat acceptance” and describes feminism as a “hate group.”
This wasn’t even a rare or unusual scenario, I guarantee you know multiple people whose experience with a parent was largely identical. I didn’t think I needed to spell it out this much because 1) it doesn’t change anything about the conversation and 2) anyone exercising a modicum of comprehension skill or imagination can get what sort of situation I was alluding to.
How fucking typical is it that these same disgusting orcs who wail about “misandry” and “unfair standards for men” are the ones who see a man talking about his experiences with abuse and decide to mock & hassle him for being “weak”, purely because he doesn’t agree with their own political views. That sure is some caring being shown to a male abuse victim right there mmhm
this is exactly what I’m talking about
anti-feminists are completely reactionary. they don’t stand for shit. they sit here and SUPPOSEDLY hate feminists for shit like not supporting male victims of abuse but OOPS guess what? in my experience, feminists are the ones supporting us, and anti-feminists are the one exclusively harassing us.
funny how that shit works
fuck anti-feminists forever
I cannot believe how rude these ppl are… wtf. You complain about feminists only focusing on women yet look at you guys. Look what you’re doing to this guy.
I’m sorry for your experiences, OP. If you need to talk don’t hesitate to message me.
How pathetic do you have to be to laugh at and heckle someone about their trauma? To have the audacity to belittle someone and undermine what they’ve gone through… anyone who harassed the OP in this post is absolutely vile.
Guess what? I’m not a girl, and I have a panic reaction to any time a cisgender male raises his voice, or when I’m near a man who appears angry or frustrated. I have PTSD because of emotional abuse and harassment I went through when I was young- the trauma lasted “only” a month but even that much exposure was enough to forever change my perception. Time doesn’t suddenly make the abuse okay- whether I was threatened and harassed for a day or a month, it was a real and serious experience that was able to cause lasting trauma.
Are you going to tell me that I’m overreacting, or that I’m amusing for my mental illness? People have, and all that did was stop me from seeking help and turning to self-harm and other awful things to cope.
Abuse is abuse; that doesn’t change regardless of gender. If you find abuse comical in any way, shape, or form, you are truly a vile and pathetic mess. How much do you have to hate your life to seek entertainment from hurting others? Why not take that energy and work on becoming a less disgusting waste?
