BWAHAHAHAHAAAA

((TOUCAN PLAY AT THIS GAME)) Whale, you’re not lion, that’s for sure. Even though they can be a bit hawkward at times they’re mostly amoosing, at least they are to me. The cheesier puns can be hard to bear, but I’d never call them boaring by any means. Also, I know this is irrelephant, but it just dawned on me that I’m really hungry. I could gopher some cereal; what is your favorite brand of cereal? Let minnow; I’d find your opinion to be quite ribbeting. If you’re getting tired of this, I’ll tell you right now that you can get otter here- alpaca your things, because hippocrites can go duck themselves for all I care. I’m not even squidding- I don’t give a fox. Owl admit that sounds toadally over-dramatic… sorry, that wasn’t the intended porpoise. I ewe can forgive my brief lack of huemanatee.

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

I don’t have a single favorite movie, really. I don’t even know if I can remember the first time I watched specific movies, so instead I’ll tell a quick story about when I noticed something about one of my favorite movies for the first time. Ever since I was a kid, I loved Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper because I’m gay little star child who is a sucker for musical fairy tales and also IT’S A GOOD MOVIE GET OFF MY BACK. //clears throat// Anyways, I was watching it with Milo for the first time in a while; I had recently gotten into anime and all that shameful media, and I noticed something about one of the main characters. That voice. That voice was too familiar- couldn’t be, it just–

One Google search later and I confirmed that the voice of the humble and learned Julian was none other than Alessandro Juliana, better known for his work as L in Death Note. Yeah. The movie gained a whole new movie, and it was the first time I viewed it with that perspective. Do a plie and don’t ever fall, Julian. Never show dismay and be there when people call, Julian. God bless.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Hmmmmmn…. I was too young but I made a lot of bad decisions as a kid, I suppose. I can’t say I particularly regret it, moreso that I regret I was so young when it happened. It wasn’t anything special, per se. It kind of built up slowly over the course of months so the intimacy kept escalating, and that’s just how it was. I treat my first time with a grain of salt, honestly, and as time has passed I’m not really super into the idea of having sex with another person; I identify as aceflux, so half the time I’m pretty disinterested if not repulsed in sex, and the other half of the time I don’t like the idea of the vulnerability of being that intimate with someone. I don’t know, my opinion may change, and I can’t remember the point I was trying to make.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

I had an on/off relationship with this dude between 6th and 9th grade ((not the same person from the above recollection, mind you)), though he just didn’t like to show romantic closeness. I needed verbal affirmation, and he was too detached about it, regardless of how he really felt. It was just not working, so I broke up with him. We ended up talking again after a few years but the rejection and everything just made life a bit awkward.

22: Talk about your worst fear.

I think I’d have to say my worst fear is, in a word, “betrayal”. That’s not really the exact word I’m looking for, so I’ll explain. Frankly, I am constantly paranoid about how people feel about me. If I’m not given verbal affirmation enough, I am convinced I’m actually a burden, they’re merely putting up with me, or they only want me when I’m convenient. I have a very hard time shaking off this notion, and still even second-guess my best friend at times. If I don’t feel supported or agreed with on an important topic, I feel foolish, as though I’m seen as a fool and they don’t care about me at all. I suppose, that being said, my greatest fear is for my perception to become the reality. In my mind I know things aren’t really how I think they are, but I constantly worry that they will be.

29: Talk about what turns you on.

Depends- sometimes I’m not even really into sex or thinking about it lmao. IDK, sexy stuff??? Words are important to me so I guess that counts regardless of whether it’s a sexy time or not. Isn’t that called narratophilia? I mean, in the bedroom it’s called narratophilia, I think. Words. They’re free and probably your greatest weapon you’ll ever have, dude.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

My neighbor who lived diagonal from me, Andrea, had me over to play video games one day. I think she was 3 or so years older than me? I tried root beer for the first time at her house, and figured out I do NOT like root beer. We played Super Smash Bros. for the N64, which was super fun. I didn’t have an N64 growing up; I only went over a couple of times, but Andrea was nice and it was one of the few interactions I had with neighbors growing up, until my old friend Meredith moved in next door to me.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

Obviously shitty music, toaster strudel, Bratz video games and other dress-up games, BOTDF music even though it’s the literal worst, that Princess and the Pauper movie, shitty shark movies, psychological horror, kid’s things made creepy ((don’t hug me i’m scared, lost episode creepypasta, how to play hide and seek by yourself, mr. widemouth, candle cove, etc.))