Wow I can’t believe doey and dawke are canon!

*makes people cry with my Mike-related headcanons*

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! OuO

Headcanon: 

Mike stopped believing in Santa at age 8.

When Mike was 7, all he asked for was to be a normal boy; for his personalities to go away.

He got a Nerf gun from Santa.

Headcanon:

Mal was created in the thick of Mike’s depression (circa age 13-14). However, these feelings of hatred, sadness, and desperation weren’t strong enough to bring Mal into control until the night Mike tried to commit suicide.

The bullying became too much for Mike. Living with these voices in his head, constantly filling his brain. It was far too much. He was diagnosed with ADD because he could never focus on anything. His social anxiety crippled him; the thought of being triggered in public and having one of his alters come out made him paralyzed with fear. In the worst of it, he would only go to school and home. He would not leave the house on weekends. He would not take the bus to school, lest he be a sitting target for eyes and minds that wouldn’t understand- that couldn’t understand. He was either watched with scrutinizing eyes like a sideshow attraction, feared by those that assumed he was fit for a mental hospital, or beaten down with words sharp as blades by the ones who used his imperfections and insecurities like a tire pump to inflate their own egos.

On that night, he resolved to end it. He could only silence the others by silencing himself. Mike went to his room, fully equipped. A kitchen knife, a full bottle of his anxiety medication, and a note for his family to find. The others idly sat by, chattering away, unaware of their host’s intentions. Mike downed half of the bottle of pills, not even sure of what the effects would have on his body. The knife tore through him, and with trembling hands he marked himself with all the words they called him. “Freak”, “Psycho”, “Spaz”… each word etched a little deeper, running all down his arm. Soon, he felt his eyes drooping. The blood loss and anxiety meds were sedating him. He could feel everything slipping away. Now, he would slip into unconsciousness. The only question now is if he would wake up. 

Although he survived the attempt, a new presence opened Mike’s eyes in the stiff hospital bed.

Headcanon that’s not really a headcanon but it gives me feels:

Svetlana was the original personality. She was there first. Though, being born into a man’s body, she realized her transgender identity at a young age. Wanting to be a normal boy like everyone wanted her to be, Mike came into existence. The personality Svetlana’s parents had wanted. Svetlana had been given the name Mike at birth, but now she introduced a face for the name. She receded into Mike’s subconscious, choosing to live there, away from the expectations and pains of living in the real world. It was there that she began her gymnastic career, having an affinity for such a thing. Mike became convinced he was the original. Svetlana created the other personalities to keep her company. She based them off of things and people Mike saw throughout his life. Chester was Svetlana’s take on her grandfather, Vito parodied the Situation she saw on Jersey Shore one afternoon, and so on. Svetlana wants Mike to keep control, because he can best live out the life she was meant to leave. If she can’t live in peace, she wants him to.

Vito dances like human Twilight Sparkle danced at the Fall Formal in Equestria Girls.

I HAVE SAID IT, THEREFORE IT IS CANON.

Headcanon: During Mike’s first time having sex, he gets carried away in the moment and when his girl is stripping down he takes off his shirt without thinking and then there’s Vito and the mood is ruined.

Fact: Mal is the Shadow Queen from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door.

They both are dark entities that take over an innocent being to use as a vessel (Mike/Princess Peach), and then the hero (Mike/Mario) must gather up a gang of allies to defeat them (Chester/Goombella, Svetlana/Flurrie, Yoshi/Vito, Bobbery/Manitoba, Zoey/Koops, Svetlana Again?/Ms. Mowz). There’s another storyline going on with Luigi/Every other TDAS Contestant, but it’s in the background and very vague/incomplete.

It’s weird. I really don’t care for Zoey as a character (don’t love her, don’t hate her), but right now I’m rooting for her to win TDAS. It’s not her fault she’s poorly written. She has so much potential! <<Plus all I want is to see Mike happy and in love and if that’s Zoey in the canon bring it on.>>

If she won, Mal would in no way win, she’d be the most logical to be around during the final showdown with Mal, and she would share the money with Mike if she won, so it’s like they both win. Also, it’d be on her own merit. Even though Mal helped her win two challenges, she’s still a strong competitor since she carried her skills as Commando Zoey to her normal personality.

SHE HAS SO MUCH GOING FOR HER WHY DID THE SHOW WRITE HER LIKE SHIT.

//grumps around//

Lately I’ve just been getting the best asks on my ask Mal and Friends blog. XD

That feeling of sadness when I have so much homework that I likely won’t have time to finish my Mike sadfic or my Mal/Zoey gorefic.