i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind
TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”
ACTUAL PSA:
If you wanna be sexy, be sexy. However, be sexy and SAFE. You can’t just stick any old dildo up your ass, because otherwise it will get too far and potentially get stuck up in you. If you want a toy for anal, get one with a flared base. The only toys you should ever put in your ass are ones made with flared bases. If you can only afford one dildo, just buy one with a flared base and wash it thoroughly between usage with toy cleaner and water. Ideally it’d be best to have one specifically for anal and others if you have other orifices you want to put a dildo in.
Repeat after me: If the base ain’t flared, don’t put it in your derriere.
That was the best near-rhyme I could find I am so sorry.
person:
Blanche, are you a girl or a boy? Blanche:
I'm the leader of Team Mystic. person:
yes, but what's between your legs? Blanche:
on a good day, Candela.
So yesterday I was at Lover’s looking around because I hadn’t been there in a while. I’m tight on money so this was my splurge for the time being. Of course, if you know anything about adult toys, it’s that the decent and well-made ones are always really fucking expensive. Which makes sense, but that shit is not affordable.
I was poking around and having trouble finding anything of quality that I could afford, when the sales associate passes by me. She stops and quietly says,
“Google “Lover’s Valpak”… right now it’s got a coupon for 40% off any item under $70.”
I open that tab faster than anything and there it is as the first result. Before she walks away, she makes sure I know that I didn’t hear it from her.
So basically, if you’re looking to treat yourself, check this shit out.
This is the one I used in particular, but you can search with your zip code to find screamin’ deals near you. This site has shit for everything, too, not just sexy fun time stores.
mario maker ep 73 where arin and dan talk about facials for god how long and arin confirmed for loving facials and wanting cum on his face and in his mouth please can dan just be of help for this dear lord h elp
