what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”
quick tip
if you have cut up hot peppers with your bare hands in the last 24 hours, do not, i repeat DO NOT masturbate.
your hands may have stopped stinging. it’s not time yet. don’t do it.
you may have washed your hands 5 times. it’s not enough. don’t do it.
you may be really turned on and think it’s work the risk. it’s not. don’t do it.
seriously don’t do it. just don’t fucking do it.
someone sacrificed their genitals for this post. someone took one for the team. lets appreciate that please.
(Source: was-borednarcissist)
option 1: greg universe, reader of weird alien porn, met a beautiful alien woman and found it was nothing like his books
option 2: greg universe met a beautiful alien woman and then purchased and read a bunch of weird alien porn for research
Option 3: the weird alien porn belonged to Rose, who thought it was hilarious.
(Source: agouti)
So we played CAH with a TDT+ deck.
Oops.
| Mar 17, 2015 — 5 notes — Tags |
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So I’m playing DMMD for Matt since they want me to do Mink’s route, and I’m sending them updates while they’re at work. Some choice selections:
“Wow this club is bumpin’.”
“Is he being a judgy Jason just because I’ve never done drugs?”
“Aboobert just blacked out. Noob.”
“WHOAH THERE FRIEND YOU MIGHT NEED TO SLOW DOWN.”
“Don’t do drugs– you’ll end up sucking a cinnamon dick.”
“Don’t do drugs– you’ll end up riding a cinnamon dick.”
Dammit, Fuzzy.
| Jan 24, 2015 — 4 notes — Tags |
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