Despite it being stressful as all get out, I am at least a little relieved that I’m getting referred to a neurologist to get my brain checked out.

For those who don’t know, I am considered physically disabled because of my narcolepsy/cataplexy, and chronic pain ((headaches/migraines)). I’ve just kind of learned to live with the chronic pain, though lately it’s been getting a lot worse- I always have headaches every day and migraines several times a week, but usually the pain was mostly manageable, at least for a regular tension headache. Lately the pain has been more pronounced, and I think I’ve been taking too much Excedrin and I could be getting rebound headaches.

As for the narcolepsy, that seems to be impossible to control, and I’m at wits end with it all. I’m hoping that a trip to see a neurologist will help give me more insight on what’s up with my brain and if there are more treatment option to make my life more manageable.

If I may be frank, life with chronic illness can be downright miserable. I look healthy from an outside perspective, but between the headaches, the EDS, the microsleeping, the fatigue…. it all makes my quality of life so low that each day is unexciting and anxiety-inducing. Leaving the house is terrifying because of the thought of having a cataplexy episode or sleep attack in public, but I have to go to work because I need the money to function as a human being.

I know this sounds like whining, and it is. Yeah, whining won’t fix anything, but sometimes I just have to vent it out. My life, while privileged in many aspects, is absolutely miserable because of my physical illnesses- I’m not even taking all the mental bull into account right now.