zixxie:

life tip: dont point out ppls self harm scars!!!! 

(Source: zixxie)

So I came out two and a half years ago.

My parents cried- they told me that it felt like their daughter died. They were confused and angry. Withing the span of six months I tried to commit suicide twice. They refused my name and pronouns. They became stressed and even angry whenever I brought it up. We fought. A lot of my self-harm was a result of it.

I felt ill whenever I thought about the future. Would I ever be able to change me name? Start hormones? Get married? My parents would disown me, be disgusted with me, look at me with empty eyes. It hurt more than anything to think about being such a disappointment to them, such a disgrace.

Yesterday, my mom emailed me. I’m a freshman in college, and as of late I just have been unable to take it- I’ve been pouring out my emotions to her, explaining to her how it’s made me feel over the years. 

In her email, she told me there’s a PFLAG meeting next month. She asked me to go with her.

There’s hope.

If you relapsed today, forgive yourself.

justaprinceofthegalaxy:

Be it self-harm, an eating disorder, alcohol, or any other form of relapse- it happens. Recovery is not this straight line up towards progress. It’s a twisty-turvy trail full of roundabouts, hills, valleys… relapses happen, and it doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made. All the things you accomplished are still just as incredible and wonderful, and you’re still on your way to recovery. Forgive yourself, and tomorrow you can look forward and try again.

suicidalbreakd0wn:

whenpainmeetsdeath:

I wish at school they would talk about depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self harm. Not just bullying. Because sometime it’s not people that make us feel like shit, it’s ourselves.

YES SOMEONE FUCKING SAID IT, YES.

(Source: sundays-suicide)

1. h413y said: Congratulations that’s such a huge step. I think I’m about 3 years and like you said it’s the best decision! I hope you don’t get too hung up on the relapses, they happen and they don’t change how far you’ve come!

Thank you so much! And three years? That’s incredible! I admire your strength- I take it just one day at a time and I’m hoping I’ll get to more and more milestones in my recovery. I try not to sweat the relapses; they happen but they don’t invalidate my progress. Recovery is so hard, especially when you’re fighting off multiple things. It’s been exactly a month since I last self-harmed, and a little over a month since I last drank. I’m bummed I relapsed on some things, but that just means it’s time to set a new personal best, right? The hardest part was learning not to give up every time I had a relapse. I figured once I fell off the wagon that was it and I should just give up. It took some work, but now I know that recovery isn’t a straight path. It’s got bumps and twists and roundabouts; though the road still leads me to my destination. 

all-things-interesting:

SELF HARM IS NOT ROMANTIC

THE LITTLE WHITE LINES ON MY THIGHS THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL

EVERY TIME I LOOK DOWN I AM REMINDED OF WHAT I DID TO MYSELF

WHAT MY SADNESS MADE ME DO

NOBODY SAVED ME

NOBODY STOPPED ME

BECAUSE NOBODY NEW

AND IF THEY DID THEY WOULD NOT HAVE SAID “WELL DAMN I JUST WANT TO KISS HER SCARS AND MAKE HER BETTER”

DO NOT THINK THAT HURTING YOURSELF IS OKAY JUST BECAUSE MELODRAMATIC PICTURES ON TUMBLR MAKE IT LOOK TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL