Headcanon that’s not really a headcanon but it gives me feels:

Svetlana was the original personality. She was there first. Though, being born into a man’s body, she realized her transgender identity at a young age. Wanting to be a normal boy like everyone wanted her to be, Mike came into existence. The personality Svetlana’s parents had wanted. Svetlana had been given the name Mike at birth, but now she introduced a face for the name. She receded into Mike’s subconscious, choosing to live there, away from the expectations and pains of living in the real world. It was there that she began her gymnastic career, having an affinity for such a thing. Mike became convinced he was the original. Svetlana created the other personalities to keep her company. She based them off of things and people Mike saw throughout his life. Chester was Svetlana’s take on her grandfather, Vito parodied the Situation she saw on Jersey Shore one afternoon, and so on. Svetlana wants Mike to keep control, because he can best live out the life she was meant to leave. If she can’t live in peace, she wants him to.

My headcanon appearance for Svetlana (if she had her own body):

-5'8", relatively thin but has apparent muscle mass (maybe around 170lb, given her height)

-Medium/light brown hair and blue-gray eyes. Fair skin.

-Keeps hair short; she finds it tedious to put her hair in a ponytail so often.

-Medium thick, rounded arched eyebrows. Long-bridged nose; tip of nose is mildly pointed.

-B cup breasts, shoe size 8

-heart shaped face, lips are on the thinner side.

-Her muscles aren’t thick and bulgy, but rather toned and smooth.

-Double-jointed fingers ((meaning she can bend her fingers back so they touch the back of the same hand. Just a little something I imagine for her since it’s what I have and it would make her more flexible in even a minute way))

-Ruler-shape body type

-Wardrobe is built for comfort and ease of movement. When out and about, yoga pants or sweatpants are her go to, as well as either a T-shirt or ¾ sleeve shirt and a couple jackets. Dresses pretty much modestly, with at least some emphasis on style. She usually doesn’t leave the house without doing her mascara and lipstick, simply because she likes how she looks with it on

So I assume that each alter of Mike’s has their own recollection of memories and whatnot, considering Vito mentioning his uncle Vinnie, and Manitoba mentioning having a wife.

Headcanon:

Svetlana hates the stereotype that all Russians do is drink vodka and dick around. She is 100% sober all the time because her father (as she recalls) was a heavy drinker and just sort of sat around like a lump all day every day. He never even looked at her, he just sat there, staring at a static-y TV and drinking. Svetlana’s mother had to shoulder the burden and provide for the family, which made Svetlana despise her useless father. “Lips that touch the alcohol will not be touching mine!” she announces proudly when asked about the subject.

I still can’t even get over the scene in tonight’s ep where one of Mike’s favorite dreams is kissing in the rain like wow can I just hold him and hug him and kiss him in the rain forever?

I love how he is the hopelessly in love and likely having “girlier” fantasies about their relationship than Zoey does and that’s hella rad since normally the girl is just hopelessly head over heels for some 2cool4u guy.

PLUS JUST FUCKING LOOK AT IT HE DREAMS ABOUT THEM KISSING IN THE RAIN

AND THEN SVETLANA IS LIKE “OH BOI THAT IS SO CYOOT”

just wow

I CAN’T EVEN

TONIGHT’S EP

I JUST CAN’T EVEN

MIKE’S DREAMS

OH GOD HIS DREAMS

AND CHESTER WANTING A PIGGYBACK RIDE

AND ZOEY FINALLY FUCKING USING HER BRAIN

AND SVETLANA BEING THE BEST DAMN CHARACTER IN ALL OF TD BESIDES MIKE.

LIKE HOT DAMN SVETLANA YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE.

TOTAL DRAMA SVETLANA.

PLEASE AND THANK.

LIKE SERIOUSLY 

Headcanon: During Mike’s first time having sex, he gets carried away in the moment and when his girl is stripping down he takes off his shirt without thinking and then there’s Vito and the mood is ruined.

Fact: Mal is the Shadow Queen from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door.

They both are dark entities that take over an innocent being to use as a vessel (Mike/Princess Peach), and then the hero (Mike/Mario) must gather up a gang of allies to defeat them (Chester/Goombella, Svetlana/Flurrie, Yoshi/Vito, Bobbery/Manitoba, Zoey/Koops, Svetlana Again?/Ms. Mowz). There’s another storyline going on with Luigi/Every other TDAS Contestant, but it’s in the background and very vague/incomplete.

It’s weird. I really don’t care for Zoey as a character (don’t love her, don’t hate her), but right now I’m rooting for her to win TDAS. It’s not her fault she’s poorly written. She has so much potential! <<Plus all I want is to see Mike happy and in love and if that’s Zoey in the canon bring it on.>>

If she won, Mal would in no way win, she’d be the most logical to be around during the final showdown with Mal, and she would share the money with Mike if she won, so it’s like they both win. Also, it’d be on her own merit. Even though Mal helped her win two challenges, she’s still a strong competitor since she carried her skills as Commando Zoey to her normal personality.

SHE HAS SO MUCH GOING FOR HER WHY DID THE SHOW WRITE HER LIKE SHIT.

//grumps around//

Not gonna lie, the only person I would have rather left this episode would have been Scott. Not bad, TD. Not bad.

Let’s all take a minute to realize that the puppet scene in tonight’s ep would be downright terrifying if the show weren’t animated. If that scene was in a live action show, it would be scary as all get out. This entire show would be freaky ass shit.

It’s funny how much a cartoon-style and sense of humor can cover up.