They had itty bitty lil’ orchids and they had purple ones so I caved and got one and her name is Starchild and she’s beautiful and now I have a lil family of orchids. Trinity the large white orchid, Antoinette the medium white orchid, and Starchild the lil purple orchid. Precious babus.

I got my elective homework done! I am 100% caught up with my homework. uvu Cadet Richter was firm but not mean about getting me to do it, and Vivienne was encouraging. Leilani is forming a cheer squad with Soleil and Herbert.

I think what’s happening is when you have mental illness, your brain always tells you that you can’t, or that there’s so much that you say “I can’t do this no way I could” but when you project it onto the plants, it’s not you telling you that you can’t. It’s someone else insisting that you CAN. And, at least for now, it’s working. So it’s weird that I talk to my plants, but if it gets my homework and laundry done, then I’ll do it all day long.

I feel like projecting personalities onto my plants has quickly become a coping mechanism. Although I’ve been adjusting fabulously to college and living alone, it still is hard, especially with chronic and mental illness, and trying to take care of life and myself is hard- it’s easy to feel like it’s too much to just do on my own even when others tell me that I just need to “believe in myself” and “try harder”. So even though it seems silly to some, these plants have instantly become a way of easing the pressure of managing these responsibilities. Some of them simply look wonderful and exude a sort of friendly presence. Though I sat down on the couch, and Cadet Richter sternly reminded me that I left my medications in the bathroom. Vivienne, the most maternal plant, reminded me to eat breakfast. Sonnet and Couplet encouraged me to at least wear sweatpants instead of pajama pants to make my brain feel more awake as I puttered around the house today.

The simplest tasks are insurmountable when you’re chronically and/or mentally ill, or really when you’re any form of disabled. It’s weird how it pretty much instantaneously lifted my mood to personify and look at these colorful plants. They give me something to care about, and they care about me. Last night Sonnet was wilting a bit, so I frantically watered her. She seems to be perking up today, and I left the blinds in my room open to hopefully perk her up. 

My apartment doesn’t feel like an apartment, but it doesn’t feel like a garden. It’s a curious mix and it feels nice to sit on the couch with some leftover pumpkin cheesecake. Not the best breakfast, but it’s creamy and easy to eat. 

The Flora Fam, Part 1

Giving my plants their own personalities gives me certain sense of happiness that I can’t precisely articulate. And they all have a very distinct personality that I deduced from the moment I met them.

Napoleon is as colorful in personality as he is in blossoms. Earnest and loyal, he can be a tad too protective of those he cares about. He grows very attached to the people he loves most, almost as if he were a pup or a kitten imprinting. He isn’t the largest plant, but his personality is larger than life. He’s a companion that wants to be by your side, poking at what you’re doing, watching over you. When I’m away, he makes sure the apartment is taken care of and nothing is in disarray. He minds the spiders that come and go, watching them with a wary blossom. A natural leader, he has a gentle side that he expresses through his protective nature.

Antonio is pompous and flamboyant, very proud of his gorgeous physique. His perfectly proportioned red peppers and white blossoms that live in abundance across large, fan-like leaves. He has the largest radius of any plant in the family, and he shows off his size as if they were muscles. He’s playful, often jokingly flirting with all the plants around him, regardless of assigned pronouns, as all plants are agender and/or intersex. He gets a kick out of being a goofball, though others know he doesn’t mean it when he’s being a macho egomaniac- it’s just his comical persona. In reality, he’s a pretty relaxed guy who just wants to make people laugh, and reach out to others. He’s a big fella, and he’s got just as much love to give as he’s got peppers adorning his leaves.

Antoinette is elegant, graceful, poised…. and foul-mouthed. She is perched on the kitchen counter, looking the part of royalty, but her sharp appearance does not match the words she exudes. Playful with a sailor’s mouth, she’s quick to tease back and call Antonio’s bluff when he flirts. She loves to chatter with Ariella, and tends to calm down and think deeply when she listens to Polaris. She isn’t just one stereotype, because she doesn’t try to be. She simply is, regardless of what her appearance implies. She lives, and whatever that entails, she is. She enjoys each day, stands for what she believes in, strives for what she wants, and grows past her limits.