So, my therapist recommended I watch The Babadook for two reasons:

• It’s a great metaphor for trauma.
  
• It’s gay culture.
  

I love having an nb therapist.

kiriamaya:

advicefromsurvivors:

Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”

!!! this thing! this thing right here!

sexuallyambiguousphan:

national-phanthem:

sexuallyambiguousphan:

sarthusiasm:

sexuallyambiguousphan:

memiskypirate:

sexuallyambiguousphan:

Sam Pepper is an actual fucking psychopath oh my god

What happened???

He played a “prank” where he kidnapped two of his friends - one of them was in on it - and pretended to murder one of them while the other, the one who wasn’t in on it, was screaming and crying and so horrified and apparently saying “he’s all I have”. And like. That’s not funny?? At all???? That’s fucking psychotic???? Also even if it’s for a prank kidnapping is still a felony. His friend could literally develop PTSD from this experience. There’s absolutely nothing funny about it like I don’t even understand what was SUPPOSED to be humorous about it. And I just. I don’t understand what the fuck is wrong with him.

WHAT THE FUCK. I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS

It’s trending on twitter. If you have anxiety or paranoia or just anything like that DO NOT WATCH THE VIDEO. Like even just out of curiosity. Just don’t. Also he doesn’t deserve more views. (Any questions you have about it can probably be answered by people on twitter.)

it’s fucking horrific. i thought that asshole couldn’t get any worse.

We all thought that but apparently that psychotic, evil, subhuman piece of shit was determined to prove us wrong

(Source: philshowell)

ask-an-mra-anything:

If you mock an abuse victim, you don’t care about abuse victims. If you tell an abuse victim they are complicit in their own abuse and don’t deserve sympathy, you don’t care about abuse victims. I don’t care how many posts you make about the tragedy of male abuse victim shelters, if you mock a male victim of abuse and tell him those things, you do not give a shit about abuse victims because you clearly don’t know shit about the psychology and trauma of abuse.

misandry-mermaid:

samanticshift:

i’m so bored with this insistence that you can’t truly recover from trauma if you don’t forgive your abuser. tbh it doesn’t even make sense, because how does that forgiveness help me? if i need to “forgive” anyone it’s myself, bc all the self-blame does more to stall my recovery than refusing to forgive my rapist ever could.

i mean part of the problem is the way people conflate lack of forgiveness with hatred, but the idea that all negative feelings damage the self doesn’t help. i’m okay with nursing a little hatred. it doesn’t hurt me. it doesn’t hurt the people i love. all i’ve done is taken some negative feelings and directed them at a deserving target. i don’t have to forgive to recover, and my rapist doesn’t deserve my forgiveness anyway.

“if i need to “forgive” anyone it’s myself, bc all the self-blame does more to stall my recovery than refusing to forgive my rapist ever could.”

I’m highlighting this bit because I’ve been attacked (rather viciously, might I ad) in the past for mentioning to rape victims that forgiving themselves in part of the healing process, because people associate forgiveness with guilt and use that concept to imply that I’m saying rape survivors are somehow to blame for their attack.  OF COURSE that’s not what I mean, and if you are someone who hears “forgive yourself.” and assume it means “you’re to blame, but you need to let it go!” then your understanding of forgiveness is a shallow and inaccurate one.  

Samanticshift did a great job of laying out why I tell survivors of any kind of abuse or trauma to forgive themselves: because self-blame, self-doubt, and self-hate are often a symptom of traumatic events and forgiving yourself, which often DOES include recognizing your LACK of blame in said event, is an act of self-care and a vital part of healing and working through that pain.