Holy Fucking Giggledicks This is Some Damn Good Massage Oil
Hi there, I’m a broke as shit college kid wanting to pamper his girlfriend. Did I mention I’m broke as shit and can’t afford a $15 bottle of fucking massage oil like really do I look like I have that kind of money???
If you’re like me and like to exist without bleeding cash you don’t have, then worry not because holy pickledicks have I got some news for you.
So the one thing you do need pre-emptively that’s not always cheap is just a couple essential oils you like. I have a set of 14 I got from Eden’s Garden when they were doing a special and it was only like… $45? They’ve got the best prices of any EO company, and it’s high quality af. Mind you, these oils last FOREVER. I’ve barely used half of the set I’ve had for a year?
Anyways, if you have an EO or two and a carrier oil, you’re good to go. They sell carrier oils, but just between you, me, and the world: olive oil is an AWESOME carrier oil for massage oils. And you can find that shit at Walmart for fuck’s sake.
Now that I’m done giving you the rocket science of your ingredients, here’s the damn recipe that screams “OH FUCKING HELL TAKE ME NOW” or something.
In a glass bowl, mix it up:
-¼ cup olive oil
-7 drops Clary Sage oil
-7 drops Rosemary oil
-7 drops Bergamot oil
-7 drops Patchouli oil
Heat that shit in the microwave for 15 seconds and boy howdy you done did it! You’re welcome.
| Feb 13, 2016 — 13 notes — Tags |
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