PERSONA DANCING ALL OVER MY SOUL
"I generally just tumble around."

Life after bariatric surgery: I wanted to eat a whole bowl of oatmeal and not waste any. I also made a pot of tea for the caffeine- just a small pot. It’s been almost two hours. I have a third of a bowl left, and half a pot of tea. I’ll have to reserve oatmeal for weekends. XD Fruit and protein bars can be my weekday breakfasts. Or cereal or smoothies. I’m glad I’m making myself eat, though. I was becoming malnourished again, and losing weight too fast. I’m not at my goal weight yet, but I want to get there slowly and safely.

TBH it’s weird to think that I’ve lost ninety pounds since December. I guess because I see myself every day I didn’t notice the change for quite some time, until I started looking at old photos. This is the lightest I’ve been since…. like 6th grade? 

And by no means am I endorsing weight loss for cosmetic purposes. I lost weight because of the looming threat of diabetes that runs in my family. I believe in healthy in any size, but 245 pounds wasn’t my healthy. It can be other peoples’ healthy, but it just wasn’t mine. 

I actually kind of try not to focus too much on the before and after pictures- my mom and most other people notice the obvious- the size difference.

“Oh you looks so good now!” “You look so much better. c:” “What size pants are you now? You’ve gone down at least four sizes, right?” “You don’t even look like the same person- it’s amazing.”

Those comments encourage me to think about my weight loss in the wrong light. I didn’t do it for cosmetic purposes and I don’t want to see it in that light. Instead, the number on the scale says nothing except how far I’ve come from a perspective of diligence and looking out for my health.

Anonymous asks:
I hope this isn't triggering, or annoying. But do you have any tips for someone who physically needs to loose weight for the sake of their health?

Oh, it’s fine to ask! I’m always happy to answer these kinds of questions- I’d rather give healthy advice than someone resort to unhealthy methods. Here’s what I can suggest:

-Don’t focus on eating less; focus on eating what counts. Always eat protein first! Shoot for 30g of protein per meal but that’s kind of hard, so eating 60-90g a day will help. Protein will keep you fuller longer, which leads me to my next point.

-Balance your nutrients. Each type of nutrient has a different function. Eating enough of each will keep you fuller longer! Carbs give you immediate energy; simple carbs ((sugar, fruit, etc.)) give you rapid energy but it wears off quick. Complex carbs ((breads, grains, etc.)) will fill you a little longer, but still wear off relatively quick. Protein take a while to kick in, but will carry you through after the carbs wear off. Fat takes the third wave, giving you a bit more fullness. Which also segues to the next point.

-Sugar Free items are WAY better than Fat Free. You don’t have to try and omit sugar from your diet by any means, but don’t use Fat Free products- what they do is they take the fat but replace it wish sugar! If you want to eat sugar now and then it’s fine, but don’t let it sneak in with seemingly healthy products.

-Drink lots of water! I still need to work on this. Keep your body cleansed and hydrated. They say to aim for eight cups of water ((64 oz)) per day, but it’s hard to do that so even just 32 oz would be great! It’s okay to still drink soda and stuff, just know what to limit. And just like the sugar free thing, drink regular soda if you’re going to have it, and just don’t drink it too often. Diet sodas have zero calories because you can’t digest the chemical compounds, and therefore don’t absorb calories. One can of regular soda per day will be loads better than diet sodas- drink less soda if possible, but next bullet point.

-Don’t think of food as taboo. Food is NOT your enemy. Just know what your body needs. Nourish your body first, then have treats once you get your protein, fiber, and vitamins in. If you want a piece of cake? Do it. Just don’t make it a daily habit. Enjoy that cake. It’s not a sin to eat.

-If you are able, work out as you can. Cardio is best for weight loss, though weight are nice because if you lose weight your muscles can atrophy, or start to deteriorate. However, don’t do weights more than three times per week- the way your muscles grow stronger is that they tear themselves while lifting weights in order to grow back stronger. Though the little tears need time to heal, so wait a day or two between weight lifting to let your muscles tear and strengthen.

-Always keep sight of your goal. Remember, this is for your health. You are always beautiful. Always. And while healthy is possible at any size, some peoples’ healthy is different. Mind wasn’t where I was, and yours isn’t either. It’s okay to lose weight, but please remember it’s for health, not for appearance.

-Mind your portions. Pay attention to how much you’re eating. Try to limit snacking between meals if you can. Pay attention to when you eat simply because you’re bored or tired or sad. Watch your emotions and how they affect your eating.Know your mind, know your body, and treat both well.

I can’t think of more right now, but I hope this will suffice for now! <3 Best of luck, sweet nonnie.

  1. acceptmyshaft said: YOU LOOK SO GOOD THO?? I still wear my pre-op clothes sometimes for the lulz

Thanks! I was slammin’ bammin’ bootylicious before, but it’s just surreal to have lost so much weight with almost no effort. I did it for my health- I just got some bloodwork back; my thyroid levels are a little low, but my risk of diabetes has gone from 90% to WAY lower; that was why I got the surgery.

I kept one pair of pre-op jeans, my size 20 pants, and some sweatshirts that are like sweater dresses now. I don’t really have a goal weight because I don’t want to focus on numbers, but I am a size 12 now because that blows my mind. I haven’t worn a size 12 since seventh grade- maybe even sixth. I’m so happy that this is working. I believe in health at any size, but for me that size was not where I was at.

sixtynine-sixtynine asks:
I know right, I'm smoother than a fresh jar of skippy. //promptly trips over 9385348 wires and eats dirt

acceptmyshaft:

thewritegrump:

justaprinceofthegalaxy:

PFFFT I feel that.

//slides into the room// //gets wicked rugburn//

FU KC

Duuude!!! Where the hell have you been this is incredible!!!

And lmao I know that feel! Nowadays when I go to Olive Garden with my best friend I don’t order an entree– either just salad or a dessert, and then Matt gives me few bites of their dish and it works well. C:

TBPH I love the sleeve- the only drawback is that it’s hard to get enough nutrients! I am taking vitamins now but it’s very difficult to eat enough protein. XD And I’m so sick of protein shakes after drinking them pre-op and post-op!!! Luckily the pinto beans at work are easy to eat and high in protein. C: I freakin’ love pinto beans with cheese and a bit of rice like damn that’s what I’m about.

Oh my gosh I can only imagine what it was like behind the scenes! They always warp the truth on reality shows- they twist it and edit it to show only what they want the audience to see.

I remember my mom making me watch a few episodes of Too Fat for Fifteen… gosh, I seriously don’t know how you survived ten months there!!! I would have lost it.

Oh god the protein shakes post-op.. The clear protein drinks were the actual worst??? Iso-Pur I think they were called? They left this like, wet-paper type gunk in my mouth every time I drank it, and I could only have like a shot glass at a time so I can’t imagine what it’d be like drinking the entire damn thing.. ew.. 

I actually have never had pinto beans, somehow. I’ll have to give that a shot! I’m really picky about my proteins so I’m glad you mentioned that :D 

My parents have taken to instead of making full-sized burgers on the grill they’ll make little slider burgers instead, and I can eat them on those little sweet Hawaiian Rolls or with no bun at all depending on how my stomach feels that day. They always are juuust right and since you split them into smaller portions, I can usually eat off a single pound of ground beef for a couple days or more if my parents would let me. 

I always have a hard time portioning my “classes” though - like, if I were to eat 7 bites of something, it should be like 3 bites protein, 2 bite carbs, 2 bite fruit/veg or whatever.. I still haven’t mastered that, so I often just do what I enjoy and it works out. I’m not losing any more weight from my initial heavy drop after the operation, but I’m at the same weight I was when I plateaued at Wellspring so I guess that means this is where my body wants to stay, even if that’s not what a BMI calculator says I should be. (And honestly, screw BMI calculators too.)

Yeah, pinto beans are great! And although I try not to mind those details anymore, I do have to note they’re fat free. So I put a lot of cheese on it and it’s so good!!!

Oh gosh, I only drank the premier protein shakes? And I only liked the chocolate one so all I drank was chocolate protein shakes for like a month it sucked! I also drank a lot of chicked broth the first week or two after the operation- that I didn’t get sick of b/c I love savory and salty food. XD

Oooh, that’s smart! I’ll mention the sliders thing to my dad. ouo It’s hard for him to cook now b/c my portions are so small. Speaking of protein, I’ve never heard of the dividing the nutrients bite by bite! I just sort of eat and my body lets me know if it needs more protein, lmao.

How long ago did you get the surgery? I’m about 8 months post-op and I’m still losing, though a lot more slowly now. I don’t know when it’ll stop, tbh. O.o And yeah, the BMI scale is a really inaccurate way to measure health. I try to pay little mind to it, honestly.

I’m right around the lowest weight I’ve been since after camp #1. I kinda hope I plateau soon because I don’t want my weight to dip too low???

My Night @ Support Group ((tw’s in tag))

So I made a super brief post about how tonight was great and mentioned support group, so I’d like to expand on that a bit just because so many great things were said and learned tonight.

For those who don’t know, I had a gastric sleeve surgery about 3 weeks ago. It’s a bariatric surgery that removed most of my stomach to create a smaller, more sensitive stomach. I’ve made posts as to why I did this, but I don’t feel like digging that up to link to it at this moment so here’s the briefest explanation: for my health ((NOT specifically for weight loss like the stigma goes)).

Anyways, once a month the facility I had my surgery at holds a support group for people who have had bariatric surgery ((LapBand, gastric sleeve, or gastric bypass)) or are considering it. It’s an amazing resource that helps me connect with others who have gone through or are going through what I am in order to become physically healthy ((or at least as physically healthy as what I have control over)).

Although I’m by far the youngest, since most of the people there are 40 or older, it is an outstanding group of people who are the most supportive and loving group I’ve ever been with ((considering I’ve been to quite a few support/therapy groups for different reasons)).

Anyways, with all that out of the way, I just wanted to talk about some interesting and amazing things I heard and learned tonight. Because I’ll be talking about touchy subjects, I’m putting it below a cut.

TW for eating disorders, weight loss, dieting, fatphobia, self-harm, mental illness, casual ableist language ((at one point)) and anything else along those lines that may come up as I’m spewing word goo all over here.

Keep reading

Anonymous asks:
hey, so you got that stomach surgery to lose weight, and i was wondering what your goal weight is, if that's not too private?

h413y:

justaprinceofthegalaxy:

Well, if I could clear one thing up super quick.

I did not get stomach surgery to lose weight.

I got it to be healthy.

I believe that healthy comes in all sizes, but for me it is not the size I am at. And in order to live a more fulfilling life and not worry about possible health complications, I need to take care of my body a certain way. My mom’s side of the family has handed me some pretty gnarly genetics in terms of diabetes, thyroid problems, and PCOS, and the most efficient way to keep all that under control is to be at a weight that is healthy for me.

I just don’t want anyone to misinterpret me. There are plenty of people in this world who are healthy and fine at my current weight. That is not what healthy looks like for me.

Anywho, since the rest is talking about numbers and weights, I’m putting a read more for some of my lovelies who are sensitive to reading that sort of stuff.

Read More

Love how you wrote this. Being at certain weights can be health for some people and not for others. People can be overweight and be super healthy but for others their weight can be harmful and worsen their issues.

Me on the other hand, I have a super hard time gaining weight. I struggled with eating for a long time and I got down to be about 95-97 lbs. This is with me being 5’6”-5’9” (was during a growth spurt so I’m not exactly sure). I’ve been in recovery for a really long time but with the medications I’m on and just due to the fact I got my dads genes (tall and lanky) I’ve only been able to get up to around 120 lbs but I’ve done a ton of tests and I’m healthy at the weight I’m at and its not causing other health problems for me.

YOU DO YOU

Amen to that!

Congratulations on making so much progress in your recovery! ;u; I’m very happy that you were able to reach a weight that is healthy for you, and that you’ve been overcoming the odds stacked against you. ^.^

It’s certainly not an easy battle on either end of the scale, but I know it’ll be worth it when I make it. ^-^

Anonymous asks:
hey, so you got that stomach surgery to lose weight, and i was wondering what your goal weight is, if that's not too private?

Well, if I could clear one thing up super quick.

I did not get stomach surgery to lose weight.

I got it to be healthy.

I believe that healthy comes in all sizes, but for me it is not the size I am at. And in order to live a more fulfilling life and not worry about possible health complications, I need to take care of my body a certain way. My mom’s side of the family has handed me some pretty gnarly genetics in terms of diabetes, thyroid problems, and PCOS, and the most efficient way to keep all that under control is to be at a weight that is healthy for me.

I just don’t want anyone to misinterpret me. There are plenty of people in this world who are healthy and fine at my current weight. That is not what healthy looks like for me.

Anywho, since the rest is talking about numbers and weights, I’m putting a read more for some of my lovelies who are sensitive to reading that sort of stuff.

Keep reading